I ain't Con but I like interfering in this sorta stuff. Dunno why.
Anyways, I'mma just outright say that most of Mikado's Zanjutsu is just fluff, and not actual substance. You go into depth about how he's "trimming the excess" and that the "blade is me" and etc, but there's no apparent visualization of how that's shown in his combat style. Even his mastery of "form" is left kinda barebones.
Your base is good, but you need to actually start from there and move in.
I will have to agree with Ash. But in a more helpful way.
Me and you do the same thing, Brave. We talk too much about how fucking awesome this thing is but never really display it. So one thing I would note is write how he is in perfect synchronization. How does it effect his movement? You started good with the horizantal strike but lost momentum. What I recommend is learning about the sword style you are using, so like if you are basing it off of Iaido, read about it. Research it. See what real masters use and tips they have and incorporate it.
Too much fluff gives a feeling of stroking ego.
If you need help, let me know, we can work on it together.
....Anyway. When I was writing his Zanjutsu section I kinda felt like something was missing. Like a burger with no meat. Or cheese. Or anything else that makes it delicious. So it's not like you're telling me something that didn't already suspect. So, I'll try feeling the burger with with meat and cheese in my next posts.
Dude that's exactly it. What you have there is already genius. So I would say keep it. But add onto it. Give me some directions on what he does. Show how he meditates. His wrist movement. Something that wen I read it, I see it with my third eye.