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More Shenanigans[]
The dawn began to wake as a certain cherry-headed figure rose from their bed. They were a young man who bore the appearance of a young, very feminine male with a petite and slender frame, much like a woman's, and light brown eyes. He had light pink hair which reached down to his waist, and was tied up in a simple braid, and had two bangs going down to his chin. His skin was as white as snow, showing little sign of age. Rubbing his hazel eyes with his small, lithe hands, Zakura Terui stood to his feet, letting out a sigh of relief. These days in Amanogawa City had been full of boredom, that was for sure—not to mention something else.
Trudging down the stairs, the cherry-haired young man noticed a certain somebody; a highly effeminate male, whose features were almost completely feminine in appearance. He possessed wide hips, long legs, and droopy eyes as he slept peacefully. His blonde hair was worn in a bun which spiked up slightly at the top, gently flowing out to the left side, with several strands of hair sticking out at the sides of the bun as sort of waves. He wore a Lycrois flower on the right side of his hair. From the looks of it, this person, Yuuki Kaburagi had been cooking him breakfast—a healthy breakfast was the overture to a good day, as they said. As if it were the most natural thing in the world, Yuuki placed a plate full of pancakes, topped with whipped cream and honey; to be more precise, it appeared like a happy face.
…Huh. How odd. Zakura glanced at it for a few more moments, before questioning, "…Hey, Yuuki, is it just me, or do these pancakes look like they're in black-face?"
Yuuki sighed, "…Zakura, just eat them, okay?"
Zakura couldn't stand the unfortunate implications of such pancakes any longer, as he snapped, "No! I am offended by the insensitivity of this breakfast!" He shouted down at the stack of pancakes, "Fuck you, racist pancake!"
Yuuki applied his palm to his forehead in exasperation. Really, he didn't know why exactly he liked Zakura Terui, other than what they did in the bedroom.
Kachihi Amagase slowly trudged down the stairs, noticing the stack of pancakes upon the table. "Ohh, so this is what's for breakfast?"
"Too early..." Fumiko was rubbing his eyes, yawning like a little kitten. "Don't yell at your food Zakura..."
Zakura snapped, "Can you not comprehend the situation!? These stack of pancakes is surpressing the minorities! We must burn it at the stake at once- or, we could cook them on a steak. Then I'd eat them...I don't know where I'm going with this one anymore."
"Zakura, eat the pancake, or so help me, I will take you to another room and ram your ass." Fumiko said irritably, pulling milk out of the fridge. "I'm not joking, I don't care how much Yuuki-san stabs me later."
Zakura froze up, before hesitantly picking up his knife and fork, digging in. "...Well, then. I am not one to approve of incest...or am I- but that is not the problem here. Do not sexually harrass people, Fumiko." Zakura said all this while grasping Yuuki's rear end tightly.
"Hypocrite." Fumiko muttered. "Now that I think on it, Zakura is rather cute. I think I may try and do him anyway."
Rika stumbled down the stairs, rubbing his eyes and wearing a frilly pink nightgown that he loved because Kachihi had given it to him. "Why is Zakura yelling so early...? I was sleeping..."
Zakura waved nonchalantly, while continuing to chow down. "...Top of the mornin'."
Kachihi prodded disinterestedly at the pancakes, remarking, "...Huh." Still, he wasn't too sure of anything anymore. Was he a clone? Was he his own person? These questions boggled his mind to the extreme. "...Oh, heya Rika. That science guy sent me a letter- he wants us down at his lab soon."
"Master?" Rika walked over to Kachihi, hugging him and enjoying the feel of the silk against his skin. He breathed in, taking in Kachihi's smell, something else he enjoyed. Notably, the gown was a bit transparent, and Rika only wore panties underneath, and the awkward bending pose he was in gave anyone a decent view of his behind. "What does Master want with us?"
Kachihi froze up, as a slight shade of crimson crossed his snow-white skin. "Uhm..." He shook his head to clear himself of such sexy thoughts. He inhaled deeply. "...Yes, that's right." Awkwardness crept up his spine, as he continued, "...That science guy wanted to head to his lab post-haste and bring along the Crimson Dragon Emperor, aka..." He glanced at Zakura choking on his pancakes. "...Zakura."
"What about the girls?" Rika asked, resting his chin on Kachihi's shoulder. "I don't want to bring them near Master again..."
"Yuuki-san can watch them." Fumiko suggested. "They love her."
Yuuki's ears perked up upon hearing such a thing, replying with a gentle smile, "...Oh, sure. I'm more than happy to look after them."
Kachihi arched his back, yawning while materializing his clothes in an instant, "...Alright, everyone's ready, right?" Before Zakura could finish, Kachihi gripped the Crimson Sovereign Emperor's arm, beginning to drag him off. "You're going too, got it?"
"Kachihi, we're eating dammit!" Fumiko snapped, sitting down with a bowl of "Yandere O's". "He didn't say "Team Kachihi, blast off at the speed of light". Let us eat or so help me you're in for a fight."
"Besides, I'm not properly dressed, Kachihi..." Rika looked slightly embarrassed at the thought of leaving in his gown. "I can't appear before Master like this..."
Kachihi sighed, "...Alright, alright..." He really didn't think this through.
Zakura nudged Kachihi with his elbow, remarking, "Looks like you should prepare for trouble, and make it double, eh?" At such a reference, Kachihi applied his palm to his forehead in exasperation, scowling.
Rika also delivered an obligatory hug to Fumiko, which made the vampire-child smile, if slightly. Rika did love Fumiko, just to a lesser degree than Kachihi. "Yuuki, you won't get the twins into any trouble, will you?" He asked, concerned. "...Not that they don't get into enough trouble without help..."
Yuuki bowed acceptingly. "...No, of course not." It was especially evident as the ZERO-ARMS: Tsukuyomi no longer had hold over her that she was incapable of doing harm. Or was she?
It didn't take long to finish eating, and everyone prepared to head out to meet their mad scientist comrade. Exactly what did he want with them?
In Which There Is MacGuffin[]
The Soul Society itself had gone through a drastic change once again. Due to a massive economic downturn in the last century, the Rukongai had once again become dirt poor again, and the Seireitei had barely hung on to it's riches. However, due to the combined efforts of the Gotei 13 and the Central 46, the Soul Society was rebuilt and it climbed back to prosperity. It could have been described as a cross between "modern" and "ancient" as the buildings had several features found in the World of the Living, but it kept an ancient feel to it, making it distinguished from the World of the Living at any point.
"And you're sure there is nothing that could possibly go wrong?"
In the Department of Research and Development, the newly appointed Captain Dyan Arashi was speaking with Kaito Kurui. A young girl in a kimono with pure white hair and red-eyes, as well as another white-haired girl in the traditional Shinigami Shihakushō, as well as the Lieutenant's Badge for the 11th Division.
"Nothing, whatever gave you that impression?" Kaito said airily.
"Her hair is white." Dyan hissed, gesturing towards Ikimoshi's pure white hair. "I simply want to make sure there is nothing wrong."
"That's natural." Kaito told him. "She's simply synchronizing with her new powers."
"She this, she that, I'm not a dog!" Ikimoshi yelled up at them both, looking irritated. From her standpoint, they were talking like she couldn't handle herself. From their standpoint, her anger was rather cute.
Dyan's eyes narrowed. "Kaito, I swear..."
"I told you, it's fine." Kaito assured him. Just as soon as he'd finished this, he heard a voice calling out.
"Master!" It was Rika's voice.
"It would appear my guests are here."
Kachihi marched in as if it were the most causal thing in the world; resting his hand upon Kaito's desk, inquiring, "...Alright, science guy. We're here. Now, how do we start this thing?"
Zakura turned to Dyan, offering the Captain his hand. "...Oh, hello once again! I told you, didn't I? We'd meet again."
Lisette merely scowled at such a person; remarking, "...Damn idiots. Don't break anything..." She muttered under her breath, "...But break that doll." All the while, she kept that slight smile.
Dyan wrapped his arms around Lisette in a bit of a hug. "Lisette, behave, please?"
Ikimoshi wanted to kick her, but she figured it would only hurt her foot.
"It's nice to see you as well Zakura." Dyan nodded, his icy blue eyes scanning them over. "Wonderful, the devil woman is nowhere to be seen."
Zakura scratched his head. "...Oh, come on. Nika's not that bad. She's just a little...eccentric is all." Honestly, 'eccentric' was an understatement here.
Breaking free of Dyan's hold gently as to not severely hurt him, Lisette growled while tapping her foot, "...'Eccentric'? Try batshit insane, boy."
Yes. It just hit Zakura Terui just then. "...Oh, hey! You're a Captain now? How'd you get that position, Dyan?"
"Well, apparently, I was recommended for the spot." Dyan said, shrugging. "Which was surprising, considering the Soul Society was after my head for quite awhile."
"...I get the distinct feeling that Nika is behind this." Zakura scratched his head. "...I'm right, aren't I...?"
Lisette nodded, "You ain't the only one, rosy r------. ...She's behind everything."
Dyan placed a hand on her head. "Lisette, if you can be a good girl for once, you'll get a treat when we get home."
Ikimoshi puffed her cheeks out. She knew exactly what a "treat" was and it made her mad, but she knew Dyan loved her as well. She just hated Lisette.
A faint shade of crimson crossed Lisette's snow-white cheeks, as she stammered, "...Treat me like a dog, will you-ohhhh." She, astonishingly, curtseyed, bowing politely. "...Alrighty, then." All this with a sinsere smile.
Zakura wigged out at such a sight, thinking that Lisette had gone completely and utterly bonkers. "...Wait, what? How did she...How did you...Buh." Damn this was confusing.
"Dyan, I think your business is done, right?" Kaito asked, looking over at Dyan.
"Yeah..." Dyan sighed, placing an arm around Lisette and Ikimoshi. "Let's return to the barracks." They left without a word, and then Kaito clasped his hands together.
"Alright, I am sure you all are wondering why I asked you here, correct?"
Kachihi rolled his eyes. "No shit, Sherlock." He tapped his fingers upon the desk. "...What is it, anyway?"
Kaito walked over to a pillar and placed his hand on the broad side. The top began to spiral off, as if being cut and spread. A small glow came from it, and Kaito breathed. "You must promise to keep what you see between us. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas, or so the humans say." He reached into the pillar and pulled out a small sphere.
The Hōgyoku.
Kachihi remarked, "Ahhh...well, it's better than Nika's imitation." Yes, much better than a dog turd wrapped in paper mashe. Yet, it could still perform the warping of reality. "...And this does what, again? And why is Zakura supposed to be here?"
Zakura scratched his head. "...I would much prefer being with Yuuki right now, y'know." He said all that with a perverted smile.
"It's quite simple." Kaito explained, holding up a pointer finger at the ceiling, in a manner reminiscent of Mayuri Kurotisuchi. Hiyori, who was off the the side, didn't miss the resemblance and gagged. "The Spiritual energy of a Crimson Sovereign is something unique, foreign to the Soul Society at large. I am conducting a new experiment, to transcend the boundaries set by time itself. My aim is to see if I can synch the Hōgyoku's unique spiritual energy signal up with that of Zakura's. If the attempt is successful, it should open a wormhole."
Kachihi's eyes widened. "...Wait, what...? Huh...I dun' geddit."
Kasumi slapped Kachihi over the back of the head, answering, "...Rosy idiot plus magic orb equals time travel, derr."
"Would you consent to becoming my experiment?" Kaito asked smoothly, keeping his eyes locked on Zakura.
Zakura scratched his head once again, before responding, "...Uhm...sure. I don't see the problem with it." He glanced around. "...What possibly could go wrong?"
Kasumi sighed, "...Whenever somebody says that, something is bound to go wrong, you dolt."
Kaito walked closer to Zakura, holding the Hōgyoku in his hand. "This will sound rather strange, but strip. The surging of spiritual energy will most likely destroy your clothes, and, in great irony, despite the near limitless amount of inventions I have, there are no changes of clothes located in the Department of Research and Development."
Zakura sighed, "...Ehhh, I can just materialize them again-"
Kasumi jabbed him with a stick. "Cool story, bro. Now do it, f-----."
Zakura growled, before beginning to strip: his crimson shirt, azure jeans, everything was gone in an instant. "...Even my skin?" As he began to tear his skin off, he was stopped.
Kaito ignored this and placed the Hōgyoku over Zakura's forehead. The device itself began to merge with his fingers, showing it was ready to be used. "I'll need to you to focus your spirit energy at this one point in your forehead, all to the Hōgyoku."
Zakura squinted his eyes, focusing on what was before him. In an instant, the Crimson Sovereign Emperor's spiritual energy shot up in a wave of crimson light, before shaping itself in the form of a Chinese dragon, which rested upon his forehead. Vibrations occured within the room as something unusual spewed forth. "...This is right, right?"
"Excellent." The Hōgyoku began to glow as it released it's own energy, and it surged around Zakura, wrapping around him, climbing up his body with the feeling of caressing hands before bursting forward, hitting the dragon that Zakura's energy had formed and absorbed it, condensing into a spiral that let out an unholy glow. Kaito's face lit up with anticipation.
"Yes..."
The small orb condensed further before rising above Zakura and expanding in a flurry, creating a spiraling portal that left an eerie feeling in the room.
Kachihi really couldn't understand what was happening; all he could comprehend that there was a time portal in front of him. Slowly, the pitch-black portal began to act as a vaccuum, whirling uncontrollably; sucking in Kachihi, Fumiko, Rika, and Kasumi. Zakura could do naught but watch as all that was left of the four was absorbed. After a few moments of blackness, the four landed in a desolate wasteland in a piled up heap. "...Dammit Kasumi, get out of the position to steal my wallet." Kachihi snapped in exasperation.
Rika had got a better landing, as Fumiko had managed to land neatly and caught Rika seconds later. Setting him down, he looked around. The place was truly desolate, no life to be seen for miles.
"Where the hell are we?"
In Which There Is Texas[]
Kasumi stood to his feet, scratching his head, snarking, "...Toto, I don't think we're in texas anymore."
At such a remark, Kachihi Amagase smacked the Quincy in the back of the head, remarking, "...Tch, shut up. Come on, we need to find the nearest town." Glancing to the right, noticing a medieval styled village, the Mototsu-Seishin-Nightwalker hybrid exclaimed, "...We should be there in an hour."
"An hour?" Fumiko repeatedly skeptically. "Do you even know where we are?"
"A better question is when..." Rika murmured.
"What do you mean?" Fumiko craned his neck to look at Rika.
"That was a wormhole geared for timetravel that we got sucked into." Rika clarified. "It's only natural to assume we're not only someplace new, but somewhen new."
Kachihi scratched his head at Rika's statement. "...Who in the what what?"
Kasumi slapped Kachihi over the back of the head, returning the favour. "...Hole sucked us in, we're now in Texas. In the past, you dolt."
Kachihi restrained himself from retaliating, responding, "...Come on, let's just go."
"I like your cluelessness Kachihi..." Rika said, smiling. "It's kind of cute."
"Unless it's irritating." Fumiko chimed in.
"...Tch! Shut it! Let's just go, okay!?" Kachihi snapped in annoyance, before trudging forward on the spiralling path.
"Oh, so you can't handle the conversation, so you tell everyone to shut up? Big man." Kasumi snarked, though he actually did follow Kachihi.
Rika walked over to Kasumi and placed a hand on his head. "Kasumi, be a good boy for mommy, please?"
Kasumi glanced away; a faint shade of crimson crossed his cheeks. "....Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine."
Kachihi chuckled at such a sight, causing Kasumi to shoot him an angry glare. "...Shut up, dammit. Go home an drink mommy's milk, why don't you? You certainly enjoyed it last night."
Kachihi snapped, "Oh, that's it!"
Rika extended her hands to stop them both. "Kachihi, don't lose your cool, and Kasumi, I said behave."
Fumiko chuckled. "Rika's gotten to be quite a bit more forceful with everyone it seems. Like a good mother should be I suppose."
Kasumi smirked, "...Yes, remind that rosy-headed idiot that you're quite a bit forceful as well. I'd love to see his face."
Kachihi groaned, "...Alright, from now on, there's a speaking ban. Every time Kasumi speaks, we get to slap him in the back of the head. We cool with that?"
"No!" Rika all but shrieked, which wasn't the best thing because they didn't know where they were, and noise attracts attention. He placed a hand lovingly on Kasumi's face. "We are not slapping him!"
Kachihi sighed, "...Fine. You'll be sorry later."
At such a response, Kasumi flashed Kachihi a 'haters gonna hate' smile; such a smirk gave Kachihi the urge to punch his face in, which he surpressed with all his might. "...And we're nearly there." Reaching the nearest town, the four gazed up the medieval-based village; which possessed a somewhat ruined feel to it. It seemed as if it was recently ravaged by war, truly an astounding sight.
Rika's eyes widened briefly as he took it all in. Burnt buildings, destroyed flora, even the ground was ravaged and smoking.
"What happened here...?" Fumiko murmured in shock.
"Can't you see? So long ago, ever since the world was concieved, Soul Society has been constricted under the iron grip of an unknown force." A slightly familiar person walked into view; this person was a seemingly young man with a exceedingly feminine appearance; possessing a delicate build and slender yet perfected features. He had messy light-blonde, messy hair that extended down to his hips; his hair was parted in the middle of his forehead, and his bangs reached down to his chest. His emerald eyes sparkled in a similar manner to a stream. "...This is the result of the Ensura gaining control over the dimension of the Soul King and forcing him out."
Kachihi looked at this person with a glance of puzzlement; it seemed as if this person didn't recognize him, either. "...You are?" Kachihi really couldn't believe his eyes, though this person...seemed familiar.
"...Nichima. I've escaped the wrath of the Ensura with my friend. Come on, it's not safe here." It seemed as if this Nishima person was incredibly shy; as evident by his blush and stuttering. Still, he felt as if this person was eerily familiar.
"Anyone thinking we've seen him before?" Fumiko whispered, eyeing Nichimi closely.
"He does look familiar..." Rika agreed.
Kachihi scratched his head. "...No, I'm not sure. It's basically impossible. They act so unalike..."
Kasumi snarked, "...Alright, just lead the way."
Nishima nodded his head, before leading the two into a cozy-looking cottage. There, the group came across another famililar face...
"...What the hell? She even trolls the past..." Kachihi murmured as certain woman rubbed Nishima's shoulders, inquiring politely, "...Who are you, may I ask?"
"U-Um....I'm Rika Ichikawa..." Rika introduced himself. She looked so much like Nika, but he was getting decent, nice girl vibes from her. She was kind of coute when it came down to it.
"Fumiko Orikasa..." Fumiko eyed the girl warily. "Who are you?"
The young woman clasped her hands cheerfully, responding, "Why, I'm Kijo." This woman, apparantly Kiji, extended her hand politely to Kachihi, before clasping it tightly and accidently shaking him around the room.
Clutching his head, Kachihi sighed, "...Seems your strength's still there..."
Kijo smiled, not bothering with the questions, before asking, "...Yes, you don't look like you live here...or in this time period, for the matter. Where are you from, exactly?"
"Um...the future..." Fumiko answered, unsure of exactly how far back in the past they were. "I don't keep track of the years."
Kijo continued to keep up that sincere smile, inquiring while she placed her pointer finger to her lip, "...This truly is odd. Well, first thing's first, we should find a way to return you to your original time, but-"
Nichima interrupted with a slight stutter, "N-No! Maybe this is a sign...They're meant to help us save Soul Society from the Ensura?"
Kijo giggled, "...Protecting the time-space continuum is one of the most important duties here. You don't want another universe clashing, do you?"
Nichima growled, "...Well, this is our only chance!" All Kachihi witnessed was a lover's quarrel as the two squabbled.
"If he needs help, Kijo, shouldn't you let us?" Rika asked nervously.
"He's cute, so I want to help." Fumiko stated his less than honest intentions.
Nichima froze up at the perverted gaze Fumiko emitted, twiddling his fingers with a slight blush. "...O-Oi! D-Don't stare..." He shuffled back, muttering, "...Alright, tomorrow, we'll set out to the capital."
Kijo laughed, "...Then I'll get dinner ready. Why don't you five get more acquainted with each other? Hihihi." With that, she wandered into the kitchen.
"Can I have sex with you?" Fumiko out and blurted it to Nichima. He turned to Kachihi. "No offence, you know I love you, but he's so cute!"
Nichima stuttered in fright, backing back as he glanced around, sighing, "...N-No, I don't want to..." He began to cower. "I-If you'll stay though..." He whimpered, "...Then anything to save this Soul Society."
Kasumi snarked, "...He's such a wimp." The Quincy demanded, "Oi, you. Get me a sandwich. No crusts or I get the tomahawk."
"Awww, he's so CUTE!" Fumiko wrapped his arms around Nichima, licking his lips and briefly slipping his tongue into the boy's surprised mouth.
Rika blushed at the sight. "He kind of is..." He turned to Kasumi. "Kasumi, stop giving orders."
Kasumi stuttered, "...Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine."
A faint shade of scarlet crossed Nichima's face, as the being stuttered, "Just...be gentle, okay...?"
Kijo banged the twin pot lids together, announcing, "...Alright, dinner's ready. Who wants eyeball stew?"
Kachihi's eyes widened as he almost threw up, but Kijo giggled, "Hihihihi. It's just stew."
"Kijo, that isn't very funny..." Rika made a sickened face. He disliked such jokes. He had low tolerance for things like that. Probably got it from Gai.
"I wouldn't mind something to eat that I haven't cooked." Fumiko said gratefully.
Kijo smiled sincerely, remarking to Fumiko, "...Well, next time, you can cook. I'd love to try somebody's else's food." She leaned in slightly, whispering in Fumiko's ear, "...To tell the truth, Nichima can't cook to save his life. It'd be nice to get a break."
Kachihi picked up a spoon, digging in. The taste entered his mouth with no problems; somewhat sweet, yet warm. "...This ain't half bad, y'know?"
Kasumi snarked, "Why, I think Gaillardia Nagareboshi enjoys dirty jokes...which aren't about him. 99% of the time they are, however."
"Would you be able to tell us the current year by any chance?" Rika asked, blowing on a spoonful of stew.
Kijo continued to keep up that smile, responding, "...Well, it's currently 666 B.C, so..." She stared off into a blank space. "...To be honest, I'm not sure myself. Soul Society has a rather perculiar time passing period, wouldn't you agree?"
Kachihi nodded. "...Yes. However, can you give us more background on these 'Ensura' things?"
"...They're the 'higher beings' which govern over Soul Society, making sure that we don't get out of hand; any advancement is seen negative in their eyes, and thus, they will purge the dimension and elminate any sources of progress; essentially, we're all stuck in the stone age. I say it's because they're scared of us, but I'm not sure." Nichima responded, before adding, "...I'm so, so sorry for the inconveinence, but can we leave at the crack of dawn tomorrow? I want to know if you can help me attempt to negotiate with the Ensura before jumping to conclusions."
"We can help." Rika agreed, to which Fumiko nodded, a mouth full of stew. He swallowed, his eyes scrunching for a second as the hot liquid slid down his throat, complete with whole slices of vegetable and meat. It felt good. He gasped. "Sure, since we're here."
Nichima bowed politely in glee, before, by reflex, lifting Kachihi, Fumiko, Kasumi, and Rika up unexpectedly, embracing them tightly with all his might, with little effort. Kachihi really couldn't breathe, though Kasumi was struggling to break free. "...I 'hope' I won't regret this..." Kachihi thought to himself as he almost passed out.
As the hug broke, Fumiko took Nichima by the hand. "And you will come with me."
Rika sighed. He was at it again.
Kachihi applied his palm to his forehead in exasperation, remarking, "....I find it ironic that Fumiko gets more action with people who aren't me..."
Kasumi snarked, "Ironic, huh? Who's my little hipster." He tousled Kachihi's hair. "Who is? Yes, you are! Yes, you are!"
Kachihi snapped, "Shut up, you idiot!"
END