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This article, Drinking Time With Kenji & Van: Episode 3: The Multiverse is a Bitch, is property of Kenji-Taichō. Permission is required to alter its content.

This article, Drinking Time With Kenji & Van: Episode 3: The Multiverse is a Bitch, is property of Rozeluxe.

This article, Drinking Time With Kenji & Van: Episode 3: The Multiverse is a Bitch, is the third chapter of an omake segment featuring the characters of Kenji Hiroshi, Van Satonaka, and Kentaro Hiroshi as they discuss a number of topics relating to Bleach (Kenji Hiroshi). The versions of Kenji and Van who inhabit the site-wide Fanon Canon serve as guests in this particular chapter, as does the version of Kenji who inhabited the Tower of Night universe.


To say it was a strange gathering was perhaps the understatement of the century. Kentaro stood off to the side with his back against the far wall as he looked upon the scene. Three different versions of Kenji and two versions of Van sat around a large table, all darting quick looks and cutting glances at one another. Kentaro didn't know just how Kenji and Van had came to be sharing drinks -- albeit awkward drinks -- with their doppelgangers, but they'd achieved it.

"This is like a circus."

The tallest, and oldest, was Kentaro's own father. But the only way Kentaro could tell the difference in the three Kenji's was hair length and colour. Kentaro's father was getting quite mixed when it came to grey through the black, whilst the other two sitting at the table where completely black. The two Van's thankfully where more easily identified for the Van that Kentaro was familiar with was more muscular through the shoulders, was slightly taller, and sported long silver hair -- although Kenji argued that it was actually grey and he was just getting old. His doppelganger had short-cut blond hair and a more lithe and wiry build.

"Just what exactly is the point of this gathering?" Kentaro asked suddenly.

A light seemed to switch on for Kentaro's father leapt from the table. Where he pulled the chalkboard from Kentaro didn't know but in no time at all he was drawing -- poorly at that -- chibi versions of everyone present with "World 1", "World 2" and "World 3" scrawled beside them.

The Kenji known strictly as "Rōnin" arched an eyebrow as he downed another glass of vodka. He did not speak however; he merely rolled his eyes.

"It seems I'm destined to go mad in every world I inhabit."

The other Kenji, who hailed from a world where the events of Kenji and Kentaro's life was told as fictitious entries in the Seireitei News Magazine, sat close by the younger version of Van as he spoke.

"So glad you caught on quickly." Said the other Van.

"Get to the point Kenji!" Van bellowed.

"What I've shown you here is the multiverse!" Kenji answered with feigned excitement. "Ours is World 1-"

"Why the hell are you World 1!?" The other Van exclaimed.

"Because my world was written first."

The ridiculousness of that statement was what broke the camels back. Kenji and Van found themselves besieged by their counterparts whilst Kentaro, who had wisely stood back, watched from the sidelines. The door soon opened to permit Haruki Satonaka and just as he walked in the door Kentaro yanked him to the side just in time! A chair smashed against the door where only moments before Haruki had stood.

"What have I walked into here!?" He asked.

"... Episode 3."

"... Wanna play Battlefield?" Haruki asked.

"... Beats this freak show."

Kentaro never found out what happened to the circus of doppelgangers after that.

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