Bleach Fan Fiction Wiki talk:Right to Powerful Characters Qualification Exam/Passed Applications

So as to reduce the clutter of the main talk page, all exams that have been given a passing grade will be recorded here. --Silver-Haired Seireitou (talk) 14:00, June 19, 2014 (UTC)

User:Silver-Haired Seireitou
Iyori Mochizuki --Silver-Haired Seireitou (talk) 05:15, March 6, 2014 (UTC)


 * Committee Members: User:Nisshou, User:Somnium Fluxus, User:Blankslate, User:Zf6hellion, and User:Prodigy X

User:Nisshou's Assessment:
 * Appearance: Pretty straight forward and even though it is brief, it captures the image of the the character and shows his character.
 * Points 8/10


 * Personality: Extremely detailed and allows me to see deeper into the character as a whole and grow to like and respect him. He is a well put together character and has many facets of his persona which I enjoyed reading about.
 * Points 25/25


 * History His History is to the point and fills the reader with some canonical elements as well as showing both where the character's personality traits stem from as well as some of the authors own quirks, blending the two together and creating a character with depth that is very believable. However the length is questionable and I feel it could be expanded more, specifically his time in Shinou as well as his time in the rukongai possibly.
 * Points 25/30


 * Powers & Abilities: For a character of his rank, his Powers and abilities are on the level and are well detailed. This shows the overall skill-set as well as where the character can grow to become stronger. I feel as though the author has given all the proper points which address where his strengths and weaknesses lie.
 * Points 20/20


 * Grammer: As always, the author has a masterful usage of the language and I have discovered no errors in his diction.
 * Points 15/15

Total Points 93/100

--The Thirteenth Doctor (Fantastic-Allons-y-Geronimo) 01:18, March 7, 2014 (UTC)

User:Somnium Fluxus's Assessment: ​Total Points 91/100
 * Appearance: No real problems here—despite its length, it is easily understood while remaining relevant to the subject.
 * Points 9/10
 * Personality: An impressively thorough description of the character's personality that, again, remains true to the topic. I especially like that the writer also took the time to detail the character's hobbies. This is brilliant—no complaints here.
 * ​Points 25/25
 * ​History: A rather standard history (in this case, this is understandable) with a relatively impressive length and depth. It is noticeably straightforward.
 * ​Points 23/30
 * ​Powers & Abilities: This is what I found especially impressive—despite depicting a relatively weak character, the descriptions of his abilities are deceptively thorough. I have no complaints here.
 * ​Points 20/20
 * ​Grammar: Thankfully, there is nothing seriously wrong in this regard, but there is one small problem (a very common error, so I'll only subtract one point from the score)—there is actually a difference in the usage of "who" and "whom," which is that "whom" is considered the objective form of "who." To provide clarity, here are a few examples: The owner of the mansion was Wilson, who was a creative writer whom Jack admired."; "Who are you? By the way, whom did the king execute?"; "A horse, whom Chris let loose, kicked the shack of John, who was especially furious."
 * ​Points 14/15

Somnium Fluxus (talk) 03:12, March 7, 2014 (UTC)

User:Zf6hellion's Assessment: Total Points 92/100
 * Appearance: No real issues with the description itself, it describes the character's appearance well enough though it could perhaps go into more detail about his facial features, the shape of his eyes, length of his nose, the structure of his jaw and all that kind of thing. The image in the infobox also feels a bit flawed, the character in that image has very light blonde hair and not near enough the length in the bangs to hide either eye putting it at odds with the description and the other presented image.
 * Points 8/10
 * Personality: Extremely indepth and very well detailed. It goes about the various traits that make Iyori who he is whilst also explaining their establishment which is a very nice touch. It goes out of its way to integrate who he is amongst the Canon without negatively impacting the characters themselves, Iyori takes influence without forcing some new traits onto his counterparts which is a nice pitfall to see avoided.
 * Points 25/25
 * History: The history is well done, though it feels like it may have been rushed to its conclusion on the last paragraph. The early portions are a slight more detailed on Iyori whilst his time in the Shinō Academy is brushed over quite quickly, there is also little mention of his attainment of his Shikai, the moments where he first connected with his Zanpakutō which would have been nice to read about.
 * Points 24/30
 * Powers & Abilities: Extremely indepth and with little to nothing in the way of bloating, the section paints a very clear picture of Iyori's current skills and abilities as well as his potential for growth, and not just in the areas it makes clear he is actively improving in.
 * Points 20/20
 * Grammar: I didn't find anything to take issue with aside from a missing word here or there or a word on top of another that describes the same thing, very minor things that are easy to disregard, I don't feel it requires removal of a point though, just felt it should be noted.
 * Points 15/15

Zf6hellion (talk) 19:33, March 7, 2014 (UTC)

User:Nisshou
Yukine Nagato --The Thirteenth Doctor (Fantastic-Allons-y-Geronimo) 13:48, March 11, 2014 (UTC)
 * Committee Members: User:Somnium Fluxus, User:Silver-Haired Seireitou, User:Ten Tailed Fox, User:Zf6hellion, and User:Blankslate

User:Silver-Haired Seireitou's Assessment
 * Appearance: There is a basic description of the character's clothing and personal features, even offering some small tidbits here and there such as being considered "good-looking" by Rukia and having received a scar from a confrontation with a Hollow. People seem to think the appearance section needs to be some big thing and hugely descriptive, but it really doesn't, the one present on Yukine's article is a perfect length.
 * Points: 10/10


 * Personality: Pretty spread out, the transition is done rather well and it gives you a nice insight into Yukine. But that being said, many sections are rather brief and don't go too much into his characteristics and how they interact. For example, in the first paragraph, you mention that he suffers from the "sins of the past", while in the second paragraph, you mention that he is strong-willed. These are two facets of a character's personality that you would typically expect to clash, and you should go into further detail about it; especially when the fourth paragraph mentions that he "grieves". In most common cases, characters depicted as strong-willed often hide these emotions and sadness, which you have mentioned, but when you say he grieves, you should go into greater detail as to how he deals with that pain and in what way he grieves. It seems to be the aspect that makes up a majority of his personality and thus should be further examined.
 * Points: 22/25


 * History: Rather standard, I have no specific complaints about this section, although a good portion of it, if not all of it, seems a bit rushed and should be taken slower to accentuate the aspects of his past that correlate with established personality traits.
 * Points: 18/20


 * Powers & Abilities: It is a nice change of pace to see someone attempt a Quincy for this examination, which is significantly harder to do given a very loose measuring bar existing for power levels between them and Shinigami. Giving him the elemental power of water is also a nice touch, though this is what I meant earlier. It would've been nice to see some characteristics written in his personality regarding what about him makes water such a good representation. The only real issue I have is that his abilities seem a little all over the place. You mention his water affinity, then his Quincy skills, then Jinki powers, and then the power of flight. It is important to establish a connection between a character's abilities and skills so that they are well-rounded instead of all over the place. Try to focus the character's skills and tie them all together. Additionally, you've taken the time to explain the character's skills quite well, but I see little to nothing about his weaknesses with the skills or what he hopes to improve; especially when it comes to his Quincy skills. Overall though, that is nit-picking and it is still quite well done.
 * Points: 25/30


 * Grammar: I'm not as much of a grammar nazi as some others here, so when I grade this section, I look merely to see if there are any gross misspellings or excessive lacking of punctuation. And quite honestly, I don't see anything wrong that would prompt loss of points.
 * Points: 15/15

Total Points: 89/100 (This includes minus one point from the original score, which was 90/100, due to the fact that the article, at the time of my grading, was missing nearly 150 bytes from the minimum necessary count of 25,000.)

--Silver-Haired Seireitou (talk) 14:56, March 11, 2014 (UTC)

User:Zf6hellion's Assessment:
 * Appearance: Its a pretty fine section, goes into enough detail about what he looks like, though I'd personally prefer more detail on his facial features myself, I know anime style is all about making faces about as detailed as a clean whiteboard, but even so, its nice to see what goes into making his face unique amongst the million other faces out there, rather than generic attractiveness. That said its good to see that, though he's considered attractive, its presented as a view from another character instead of saying that he is just because.
 * Points: 9/10


 * Personality: There's a lot of weirdness in here, saying he hates Humanity for one incident, that even at his age he should've been able to tell that something larger is going on, a random Human being able to kill his Quincy mother is a tad unusual after all (That, and as a Quincy, wouldn't he sense the Hollow Reiatsu/Reiryoku from within the possessed Human?). Outside of an apprehension to cutting down trees, I don't really see how one has a "kind" relationship with nature, especially one that results in attracting animals to you like a Disney princess. Other than that its not too bad, it moves from piece to piece decently and captures the usual traits of a teenager well enough though it doesn't stand out too well to me, his reclusiveness aside.
 * Points: 17/25


 * History: Nothing to really say here other than the complaints already levied regarding his parents' death and his reaction, from that I'll just echo Sei above that it feels a might rushed and could use a bit more development.
 * Points: 18/20


 * Powers & Abilities: Overall this is pretty well done, it goes into detail regarding a lot of his various skills, but there are a few hiccups here and there that I'll point out. First off is his "Enhanced Durability", which it isn't. He's copying the ability that Hollows have to create a second skin, durability in this case would be the strength of their own body, not the Hierro, for Yukine this would be the same as Kenpachi protecting himself from attacks with his own Reiryoku, so it would be more appropriately placed under his Spiritual Power or Reishi Manipulation sections and with a different name (Reishi Armour, etc.). Second is his "unique" manipulation of Reishi, spirit particles are spirit particles regardless of their source, they make up spiritual bodies but they don't share the same traits if broken down like Reiryoku or Reiatsu would. Quilge for instance, could absorb Ayon by breaking him down into individual Reishi where-as Reiryoku from a Hollow (Or those taking drugs to simulate same) would destroy the soul of a Quincy. So his ability to gather Reishi isn't particularly unique. Lastly, there's a few mentions of his Artificial Zanpakutō but not the object in question itself which causes confusion when parts of the article refer to it and we can't read up on it at all.
 * Points: 24/30


 * Grammar: I couldn't find any issues with the user's grammatical work, there are a few spelling mistakes here and there that should be poked around for and can be noted if requested.
 * Points: 15/15

Total Points 83/100

Zf6hellion (talk) 23:19, March 12, 2014 (UTC)

Ten Tailed Fox's Assessment


 * Appearance: Nice, basic appearance section. Gives a pretty clear description of the character. I particularly like the albinism. That's not a very common trait of characters these days. I'd steer away from canon characters referring to him as handsome, but since you don't make it too big a deal, with only one mention that I'm seeing, I suppose its alright. All in all, good section, great way to start the article.
 * Points: 10/10


 * Personality: I'm pretty much in line with Sei as to the opinion on this section. Its good, well written, and transitions well, but there are several inconsistencies. For starters, a human that prefers nature to cities isn't "strange". Its just a preference. Also, I feel the section is a bit too vague. Explain what happened to his parents, albeit briefly (even though it will be in the History section), and then go into why he is the way he is. Simply stating that "what happened to his parents" or "because his parents were killed" doesn't tell me a lot, because many people have lost parents, and all of them deal with it differently. Other than that, I have no qualms with the section. Like the previous section, it is well written and clearly thought out.
 * Points: 24/25


 * History: The history section, while well written, is pretty basic. Not a bad thing, but the parents dying in a Hollow/Arrancar attack trope does get old after awhile. Especially when the child is affected by it in an almost (forgive the reference) "Sasuke-like" fashion. Not that I would deduct points for that. As I said, it's well written and explains why the character ended up where he did, so it still accomplishes its goal.
 * Points: 15/20


 * Powers & Abilities: I have no real comments about this section, sans the following: One, its nice to see someone taking the time to section out their character's abilities and really give them some focus. Secondly, its refreshing to see another Jinki Fragment around here. All in all, good section.
 * Points: 27/30


 * Grammar: Of all the characters I have personally graded, this one by far had the least spelling or grammatical errors. You are obviously a talented writer with a fairly decent command of the language. Unlike Sei, grammar really bugs the hell out of me, so the fact that I didn't notice any glaring issues is a good sign.
 * Points: 15/15

Total: 91/100  Ten Tailed Fox  01:25, March 13, 2014 (UTC)

Blankslate's Assessment

Points: 9/10
 * Appearance: I don't usually pay much attention to this section if you have pictures of the character, but you've structured it well enough to give me a rundown on what he'd look like without pictures.

Points: 23/25.
 * Personality: Pretty much the same opinion as the others above. Like Ten said, it'd be a good idea to have a brief explanation on what happened to his parents that's shaped him into what he is now. Since the personality is the thing they'll read before history, you'll hook them that way and have them wanting more explanations as to what exactly went on. Other than that minor issue, it still gets the job done.

Points: 15/20
 * History: First problem I see is that he's part of the Kurosaki Family, which isn't a big problem or anything, but it's still something that I personally don't think would be a good idea. We aren't exactly sure about how that family works or even how big it is, but again, nothing major. As the others have said, having the parents die by a Hollow/Arrancar attack is... not very original or even that interesting, at least to me. Other than that, it's an alright section.

Points: 29/30
 * Powers & Abilities: Probably the best segment in this article. You've taken time in planning out the guy's powers and proving that he's got his own mettle, but still has a ways to go. To keep it short and to the point, good work.

Points: 15/15
 * Grammar: Nothing worth mentioning on my end.

Yeeeeeah! Now it&#39;s a party! (talk) 23:41, March 13, 2014 (UTC)

User:Zf6hellion
Glaciersharp, History's a little... eh, but here's hoping it works. Zf6hellion (talk) 11:10, March 19, 2014 (UTC)


 * Committee Members: User:Somnium Fluxus, User:Silver-Haired Seireitou, User:Ten Tailed Fox, User:Prodigy X, and User:Blankslate

UserSilver-Haired Seireitou's Assessment:


 * Appearance: I found this truly amazing. It's honestly the best appearance section I've seen on this exam, and definitely one of the best on the site by far. Of course, this may be because, since Hollows have monstrous forms, there is more material to write about. But that doesn't discount your effort either.
 * Points: 10/10


 * Personality: Well, one thing I liked the most about this character is that you actually went into his personality regarding his time as a human. Not only that, but you properly characterized the struggle of a soul as it is still a Hollow. This takes us back to the beginning of Bleach, when we witnessed Sora trying to regain his humanity while as a Hollow. However, I should note that it feels a bit rushed, as it'd be nicer to hear more about himself as a Hollow rather than how he once was a human, as information about himself as a human should be reserved solely for the history, unless you explicitly state that those personality traits have specific bearing on his Hollow behavior. Now, you have done that, but there's still too much focus on past traits merging into his current state rather than what the impact of the experience of being a Hollow has had on him. In sum, I'm sort of nit-picking here.
 * Points: 23/25


 * History: Now... this. This is a perfect example of a proper history. As expected of a Hollow character, it would definitely be impressive to document their life as a human and their eventual descent into becoming a Hollow. I honestly can't find too much fault with this section, if any at all.
 * Points: 20/20


 * Powers & Abilities: The natural abilities is excellently done, I have no complaints. However, in terms of Hollow powers, It'd be nice to see more of unique variations of existing Hollow powers. By viewing this section alone, I see a standard Hollow with the added ice power. The ice power is definitely a nice touch, and I commend you for it, but it doesn't mean you should ignore pre-existing Hollow abilities. You did something unique with High-Speed Regeneration, and it'll be nice to see you do the same with other techniques too.
 * Points: 28/30


 * Grammar: No comment really, everything is in order from my perspective.
 * Points: 15/15

Total Points: 96/100

--Silver-Haired Seireitou (talk) 03:37, March 24, 2014 (UTC)

User:Somnium Fluxus's Assessment: Total Points: 98/100
 * Appearance: This is honestly one of most detailed Appearance sections I have ever seen. The author has done a fantastic job of describing the character's image.
 * ​Points: 10/10
 * Personality: Well-organized, original, and highly appealing; I have no complaints.
 * ​Points: 25/25
 * History:  Magnificent. Not only is the character's history brilliantly original, for it also splices nicely with the character's established personality and does a wonderful job of helping readers to better understand him. I do think it reads slightly too much like a story, but this is a minor complaint.
 * ​Points: 19/20
 * Powers & Abilities: The character's abilities are believable while still managing to be surprisingly original and in-depth; this is especially impressive when the character is relatively weak. Another well-done section that obviously displays the author's great effort in this particular work.
 * ​Points: 30/30
 * Grammar: Overall, there is nothing seriously wrong here; the author has even managed to avoid many common errors such as the misuse of “whom” I've complained about twice already. It must be noted that there are a few minor misspellings; some sentences could have used slightly better construction.
 * ​Points: 14/15

Somnium Fluxus (talk) 05:43, March 24, 2014 (UTC)

User:Prodigy X’s Assessment:


 * Appearance: To cite Sei, I must agree that this section was “truly amazing”. Very few people, save for myself, put this much effort into the character's appearance, going as far to describe things that are both visible and non-visible in his imagery. It shows great skill and the correct usage of descriptive phrases worked wonders when trying to envision this hulking beast, even without his picture.
 * Points: 10/10


 * Personality: I very much enjoyed this section, mostly because of how much of his personality is routed in his human past. He carries a lot of himself over from being a human and I like that he does retain small fragments of memories from this life. I really like the woman that he remembers the enigmatic woman of his dreams and how that really effects his personality, too; I see a lot of room for future potential. I would have liked more of a focus on how he is now, though, and how his life as a hollow has affected his personality more. You have how he likes to constantly plug himself, letting everyone know who he is as well as his constant boasting and these are certainly more hollow-based personality traits. But how much of his personality actually carries over from his human life and how much was developed after the fact?
 * Points: 20/25


 * History: A recurring, and truly fantastic, theme in your history sections is your masterful use of real world knowledge of history and research. I mean, in the first few sentences alone, you mention vital facts of his humanity; that he was born in the year 837, he was a member of the Britons, he immigrated to Armorica of the Broërec kingdom. My god... As you keep reading, it only gets better, especially when you read more about his human life and his descent into a hollow. It only gets better and more informative...amazing...
 * Points: 20/20


 * Powers & Abilities: I very much enjoyed his natural abilities section and thought that it was done quite well, so no complaints there. The spirit ice is also a rather good touch, as well, especially how you incorporated that power into his version of High Speed Regeneration. Really, the only reason that I subtracted the two points is that I feel his ability to manipulate temperature as easy as he does given his power level. You gave him the reiatsu equivalent to a sixth or seventh seat but there was really no limit as to how readily he could freeze objects. When is his reiatsu is weakened from battle (in other words, is running low), is the ice weakened? Is there a limit to how much he can freeze in this state? With this small problem aside, I feel that you did quite well.
 * Points: 28/30


 * Grammar: There were very, very few problems that I happen to spot by chance (and only because I read over everything with great care). There were two run on sentences in the personality and a misspelling of reptilian. Honestly though, that is about all I could find and that is a big, BIG leap.
 * Points: 14/15


 * Final Comments: While not a necessary section, I thought it would be proper to commend you on your efforts with Glaciersharp. I found him to be quite interesting, as well as one of the best articles in the entire exam so far, which is a feat in of itself. This article sets the bar rather high for other participants, myself included, and I hope that you continue to be an inspiration to new users.

Total Points: 92/100

  Prodigy    ( Speak the Truth ) 17:26, March 25, 2014 (UTC)

User:Stylx
Kei Hirata, hopefully I did well enough, oh this is going to be fun. User:Stylx 21:34, April 4, 2014 (UTC)


 * Committee Members: User:Somnium Fluxus, User:Silver-Haired Seireitou, User:Ten Tailed Fox, User:Nisshou, and User:Zf6hellion

User:Zf6hellion's Assessment:


 * Appearance: A well done section, couple words missing here and there and a misspelling or two, but the meaning and the descriptions remain clear regardless. There is a lot of detail in his physical appearance, and the clothing he wears. I would say his arm warmers could be better described as covering his forearm rather than being elbow length as one could assume they cover his upper arm instead. At the same time, having them present would, I feel, be a noticeable deviation from the norm of a Shinigami uniform, though perhaps not at first glance. The description of what he wears whilst in a is also a nice touch.
 * Points: 9/10
 * Personality: Largely detailed personality, it describes the character well enough, though I feel the ordering could be better between paragraphs, how he was like as a child might be better placed at the start, so we know of his development into adulthood before you start describing his adulthood, or perhaps have it at the end, instead of smack dab in the middle of two paragraphs describing him as he is now. His relationship with Chiyoko Mori could go after the first paragraph as they'd transition into each other easier as it refers to the same topic, only a more specific instance. Further, his, character flaws feel like they're being blunted on purpose. He's distant from his fellow Shinigami and he seems to have a negative relationship with most of them, this would affect them in battle, one has to know their allies to work well with them, and someone who is anti-social would be harder to work with as a result of them having no real knowledge of each other, nevermind an inability to trust and what have you. He's described as having a warped sense of justice, but there is no detail as to what this is beyond being amoral and kinda cruel. What makes his sense of justice warped? Is he an extremist that views all crimes as being equally deserving of an intense retribution (Say, death penalty for littering or passing wind in public)?
 * Points: 23/25
 * History: The history has a lot of detail behind and even walks into some rather unexplored territory of the Bleach universe, that being the inner workings of the Rukongai and its districts. While I can't say for certain people can just up and leave a district for fear financial issues, I can't exactly disagree with it either as Kubo neglected to build up much of his world. That aside, the family becoming targets makes sense, stealing or not, a group is likely to blame newcomers for wrong doings that befall rather than accept an internal problem. It does a raise a problem though that Kei survives, he is described stealing and getting his own justice back (Though I wouldn't call it particularly twisted), but the mob that murdered his family surely noticed a missing kid? And if they didn't, he's one boy, surely he'd have a few awry moments of theft, one of which could have shown the lengths he would be willing to go to for his own survival, the need for self defense, or further a callous lack of care for the life of others, maybe a twisted enjoyment out of maiming a corpse or a compulsion to get out all of his bottled rage on someone. Onto the academy, he can't just admit himself you know, there is an entrance exam he has to take first, regardless its nice to see that he didn't immediately breeze through his teachings, and actually failed before succeeding. However, he has a Zanpakutō and a Shikai, it is a living thing which requires a degree of connection between them for its power to be unlocked, it would be nice to have seen that portion explored as to how Kei came to get around the barriers that eventually let him learn the name of his weapon.
 * Points: 18/20
 * Powers & Abilities: A lot of work went into this section and its fairly impressive, and quite indepth with his skills. A small organizational issue in that I'd say his Shunpo should be a subset of his enhanced speed, as they cover the same field, Shunpo is just a technique to do so. I'd say his intellect only makes sense as far as working alone should go, sure he can observe an opponent to figure out their skills in comparison to his own, but he wouldn't be able to formulate a plan that works on a group as he refuses to associate with them, while its mentioned he has difficulty executing his plans with a group, I'd say it should explain further as to why. I can only assume the intent is that, as he does not know their capabilities he does not (And cannot) factor them into the equation properly, leading to issues, but spelling it out is always good. The Zanpakutō has some issues in that it's Shikai isn't all that well described, its power works off of a set of serrated edges but they are never mentioned until being brought up in the special ability. The powers are also a tad difficult to understand, the Nokogiri technique causes the edges to rotate around the blade like a saw, but unless the hilt has a particularly unique configuration to allow it then they'd have to rotate across its width rather than its length making it look like a rotating blender? The Hanokiba technique also mentioned that the fangs can be regenerated, but the Mekai no Kiba does not, do they always regenerate once being released or only with the Hanokiba? If they do, it should probably be mentioned in the Shikai Special Ability part as an overall power instead.
 * Points: 28/30
 * Grammar: There are a few words missing every now and again, and a couple of misspellings here and there, though easy enough to spot and clear up on a second pass through, construction is fine and I could find no real issues.
 * Points: 9/10

Total Points: 87/100

Zf6hellion (talk) 14:48, April 11, 2014 (UTC)

User:Silver-Haired Seireitou's Assessment: I'm afraid I have to make this short, but having had a look at this article and the comments above, I really haven't much to say. Overall, it's a nice article, and a proper example of how to do this exam correctly. What Z states above my comments is pretty much dead on and I'd rather not just paraphrase it all. So, yeah.

Total Points: 90/100 --Silver-Haired Seireitou (talk) 03:04, April 20, 2014 (UTC)

User:Somnium Fluxus' Assessment: ​Total Points: 89/100
 * Appearance: Well done. (Insert generic praise here)
 * ​Points: 10/10
 * Personality: A personality section that is quite nicely done; I have only minor issues with it (mostly involving syntax). While normally I would complain about the author's excessive detailing of the character's personal relationships in this section rather than in a Relationships section, that would be somewhat unfair since the article lacks such a section.
 * ​Points: 22/25
 * History: A very basic history that at least manages to serve its purpose (putting syntax issues aside); it ties nicely with the character's personality. The beginning does feel a little contrived to me, but overall I don't have many complaints here.
 * Points: 16/20
 * Powers and Abilities: The level of dedication put into describing the character's abilities is definitely the greatest strengths of this section. I have only a couple of complaints—“Shunpo Practitioner” should be a subsidiary of “Enhanced Speed,” and I feel that the character's “Above-Average Strength” lacks substantial justification to be exceptional.
 * ​Points: 29/30
 * Grammar: There are quite a few misspellings and typographical errors, but the more serious issues in this regard are syntax-related—redundant or awkward clauses are prevalent throughout the entire article. Dependent and independent clauses are often linked together with commas where periods would be more appropriate, giving some sentences a very strung out format.
 * ​Points: 12/15

Somnium Fluxus (talk) 14:24, April 26, 2014 (UTC)

Waterkai
Tomoe Nakatomi :> -- Kai no kimi  -  Talk  02:05, April 19, 2014 (UTC)


 * Committee Members: User:Somnium Fluxus, User:Silver-Haired Seireitou, User:Ten Tailed Fox, User:Prodigy X, and User:Zf6hellion

Ten Tailed Fox's Assessment:


 * Appearance: Gonna keep these short and sweet. Spectacular writing went into this. Glad to see someone use more than a basic description of their character and go into more detail.
 * Points: 10/10


 * Personality: Long section, but it has a good flow to it, superb grammar, and everything makes good sense. A+ in my books.
 * Points: 25/25


 * History: A decent history. It covers everything one needs to know about the character. Has a defined beginning and ending, leaving very little holes or questions. Fabulous grammar again.
 * Points: 20/20


 * Powers & Abilities: Keeps with the Manual of Style. Decent descriptions of all known abilities. Good that you gave her some techniques of her own instead of just listing a whole bunch of canon ones. Really loved the bit on Lie Detection. That's certainly a new one. Her Zanpakutō... intrigues me. I'm not sure why, but I like it. Superb grammar all around once again.
 * Points: 30/30


 * Grammar: The grammar in this article is fantastic. It makes a grammar Nazi, like myself, weep with joy.
 * Points: 15/15

Total: 100/100 (first time I've ever given this score to my recollection, so excellent work)

 Ten Tailed Fox  02:53, April 20, 2014 (UTC)

User:Silver-Haired Seireitou's Assessment


 * Appearance: Rather basic, but a good length. This section should never be too long but rather a comfortable summary of their physical characteristics, clothing and other significant accessories, so in terms of that, you've hit the nail on the head.
 * Points: 9/10


 * Personality: The length, first off, is perfect. Maybe it goes a little above and beyond the average, but that's never a bad thing. The connection between her personality and her nobility is a nice fit, with the twist of others looking at her as though she was spoiled as a result of her standing. No problems here.
 * Points: 24/25


 * History: I'll say this, that the main (and probably only issue) problem I have with this section is that there is very little about her actual time in the Academy. We go from start to finish, a brief explanation of her skills at the time of graduation, and really nothing more about that. It'd be nice, for a character like this, to have more light shed on what sort of training she went through in the academy, what she found easy and difficult respectively, et cetera. The only real thing mentioned about her tests is in Hakuda, but that's merely one aspect of her abilities. However, with that being said, it does make excellent connections with her personality and establishes how she became who she is.
 * Points: 18/20


 * Powers & Abilities: I can't say much about this, all of it is quite excellent and well-rounded. With respective to my Hakuda preferences, I am impressed by the innovation with the Tesshō technique. While it is unique and different from others, it isn't beyond the capabilities that someone of a fourth seat or lower would be capable of preforming. So kudos on that.
 * Points: 29/30


 * Grammar: Goes without saying, no problems here.
 * Points: 15/15

Total Points: 95/100 --Silver-Haired Seireitou (talk) 03:00, April 20, 2014 (UTC)

Prodigy’s Assessment


 * Appearance: I have to say that I rather like this section. I, myself, am known for doing long, and perhaps overly descriptive, appearances, but I think this one is the perfect length. You did a very good job describing everything that one would need to help visualize her and even threw in a picture to boot.


 * Points: 10/10


 * Personality: I think that this section is very well done and not just because it so well developed. A lot of the times, characters’ personalities fail to mention traits from their childhood and how these traits changed, or did not change. Honestly, though, I really cannot find a problem here, either.


 * Points: 25/25


 * History: I think I agree with Sei on this, in that there is very little description done to how she was trained. Being born into such a prominent clan, did they train her or any of the other members in a different manner than others or no? Also, I am not sure if it is because she has a huge amount of room for development, but it seems like the history is a little short. Compared to the personality, which was extremely well thought out and explained, I felt this was a little shorter, and perhaps rushed (not saying it was, that is just what it feels like to me). I could be wrong, but I liked what I read and I just wanted more.


 * Points: 17/20


 * Powers & Abilities: One of my favorite things here is the fact that she is in the and her Zanpakuto is a big ol’ . I do not know why, but that is probably the most awesome thing ever. Another thing that stands out here, for me, is that she is a human lie detector, this being a unique ability to her alone. My only nitpick, be it a minor one, is that I would have liked to see more explanation on how she trained to get these powers. Some of them do have this, but a few others do not.


 * Points: 29/30


 * Grammar: Very well checked. Nicely done.


 * Points: 15/15

Total Points: 96/100   Wolf     ( Howl ) 13:47, April 21, 2014 (UTC)

User: Ash9876
Hakuhei Kuchiki Ashy (Welcome! ) 07:54, April 24, 2014 (UTC)


 * Committee Members: User:Somnium Fluxus, User:Silver-Haired Seireitou, User:Ten Tailed Fox, User:Prodigy X, and User:Zf6hellion

Silver-Haired Seireitou's Assessment


 * Appearance: Not much to say, it's a good length and covers a great depth of his bodily appearance. However, it sort of skimps out when it comes to clothing. This isn't a major issue, of course, since it still tells us enough, but it doesn't paint that amazing a picture either. It's rather simple and basic.
 * Points: 9/10


 * Personality: Now this was quite well-done. I could nit-pick on a couple things, but honestly, they would be beyond the scope of this exam and thus, I'll leave it at that.
 * Points: 23/25


 * History: A good length of his childhood. A decent summary of his time in the academy. Overall, nothing to really say, but considering in his personality, you mention that he suffers from a mild form of dissociative identity disorder, I would've liked to hear more about what specific events in his childhood led to him developing this disorder.
 * Points: 18/20


 * Powers & Abilities: Starting from the bottom up, the Zanpakutō is very impressive. It's unique, interesting, and most importantly, you detail where his flaws with its power lies and where there is room to improve. However, as I go up, I see a relatively dull listing of basic skills that doesn't really appeal to me. While each individual section is, in and of themselves, well-done (ie. his Kidō section is rather interesting), when you look at it as a complete picture, it looks like a very loose patchwork. In my opinion, in reference to his Lunacy, it would have been nice to see some techniques or applications written about how he fights with that sort of wild nature. You know, something that sort of ties together what kind of character and warrior he is. But, this is probably me nit-picking again. Within the scope of the exam, this is a good example of a proper character at the fourth seat or lower level.
 * Points: 28/30


 * Grammar: I won't even bother, I see no issues here to raise any alarms over.
 * Points: 15/15

Total Points: 93/100 --Silver-Haired Seireitou (talk) 19:48, April 25, 2014 (UTC)

Prodigy's Assessment


 * Appearance: I like the appearance quite a lot but I do wish that the clothing was not so much of an afterthought; that is kind of what it feels like, to me. Also, with rogue Shinigami, I also like to see their attire during their time in the Gotei 13 and, possibly, their attire during their time in the Shino Academy. What types of modifications did the Hakuhei make to his Shihakusho, if any?


 * Points: 8/10


 * Personality: I thought this was also quite well done, as well, and I like that, for the second time in the exam, I am seeing the use of the . It also seemed interesting to me that he does modeling for the Shinigami Women’s Association, something that you rarely see rogue Shinigami doing. In addition, his belief that the Gotei 13 fights for a “noble cause”, as Hakuhei’s mother taught him, reminded me somewhat of Itachi and his feelings of Konoha. Very interesting to say the least.


 * Points: 25/25


 * History: I thought this did a great job detailing his early life as well as the development of his disorder over the course of his life. You do an outstanding job describing the isolation felt by Hakuhei and how he went through most of his life virtually alone. Even the history leading up to his departure from the Soul Society is well done.


 * Points: 18/20


 * Powers & Abilities: I very much like the powers of his shikai, especially the fact that they are divided based on his heritage. The fact that both power seems almost completely polar opposite is also interesting in this regard. It is also ironic that you mentioned Shunsui Kyoraku, as well, because the way you describe them very much reminds me of Katen Kyoketsu and how they behave with him. Personally, I cannot wait to see this character evolve more to were he attains his bankia; that would be interesting to see.


 * Points: 30/30


 * Grammar: All good on this front, as usual. Nothing to report.


 * Points: 15/15

Total Points: 96/100

Sorry about the late response everyone, especially you Ash. I have been busy on NF reviving my works and, while I was not doing that, I was getting ready for finals.   Wolf     ( Howl ) 12:29, May 5, 2014 (UTC)

User:Zf6hellion's Late As Hell Assessment:


 * Appearance: This was a breath of fresh air for me, my biggest complaint to most examinees is that they don't go into any depth at all with regards to their character's appearance. This is not the case here, there's enough detail to draw an image of Hakuhei in my head regardless of whether or not there's an image present. A plus is that the description of him fits with the images presented.
 * Points: 10/10


 * Personality: People sure do seem to like DID, especially recently. That aside, the personality is very well done, and comes across as wholly unique, at least to me, I've never quite seen a character described as Hakuhei has been. Though I'm curious about his devotion to the Gotei 13, especially given his fanaticism for the cause. The canon makes it more than clear that they commit a LOT of morally questionable actions, to the point that they were essentially high paid thugs prior to the first war with the Quincy. How do events like these effect Hakuhei? Are they twisted in his head to take a positive stint or does he cling to some other notion (Such as the ends justifying the means)?
 * Points: 23/25


 * History: Its a good length and a good read. It goes a fair way to explaining who he is within his upbringing and quite a bit of attention is devoted to his bouts of isolation. His bonding with his mother makes the latter part feel a little off though, surely he'd believe the parent he bonded with so much would have her reasons for keeping his heritage from him, wouldn't he? Or at the very least give her a chance to explain things before becoming a jackass about it? Other than that, its fine, its nice to see mentioning of someone gaining their Zanpakutō among the Shinigami applicants, though as usual I gotta levy my disappointment that there is no delving into his communication with it.
 * Points: 17/20


 * Powers & Abilities: For this, I'll just echo Prody and Sei, the section is well done and the Zanpakutō is very unique and interesting, I see nothing to complain about so full marks!
 * Points: 30/30


 * Grammar: Nothing to write home about here, a couple of grammatical hiccups in the history that I noticed but nothing worth dropping points over.
 * Points: 15/15

Total Points: 95/100 Zf6hellion (talk) 18:23, May 14, 2014 (UTC)

LordGalvatron
Quodrak Verros -  Galvatron-dono  -- Do you hear the voices too? 10:58, April 30, 2014 (UTC)


 * Committee Members: User:Somnium Fluxus, User:Silver-Haired Seireitou, User:Ten Tailed Fox, User:Prodigy X, and User:Zf6hellion

Seireitou's Assessment


 * Appearance: First off, I'd like to use this chance to say that I'm happy to see innovation. I've seen some people create Quincy for this exam, one person made a bare Hollow, and now a simple rank and file Arrancar. This is most excellent. Now, getting to the matter at hand. This appearance section is honestly well done and I have no complaints. Instead of wasting time telling you how good something is, I'll only mention something when it needs to be fixed.
 * Points: 10/10


 * Personality: Short and to the point. It's a nice length and covers his traits rather well. The only thing I should mention is that, the general gist of the personality section is suggesting that Quodrak is off-putting and strange. But why? Is this just who he is? Or do these traits cover up some aspect of his true personality deep down? Just giving him these quirks doesn't mean he isn't still one-dimensional, you need to add more depth to what it means for him to be this off-putting guy. I get how he acts and how he thinks is off-putting, but why? Why is he like that?
 * Points: 23/25


 * History: Now, see. I can tell he's gone through some traumatic events as a human, and certain events led to his transformation as a Hollow, but this stuff would've been nice to include in why his personality is the way that it is. Nothing in the history connects with his personality, and vice-versa, which should be a very significant factor to account for. However, beyond this, I will say that within the scope of this exam, the section is well written.
 * Points: 18/20


 * Powers & Abilities: Pretty straightforward. The amount of description fits an Arrancar, whom would be most likely self-trained. Overall, I have no complaints here, and I think this section is just right.
 * Points: 29/30


 * Grammar: I ain't even gonna bother, it looks fine.
 * Points: 15/15

Total Points: 95/100 --Silver-Haired Seireitou (talk) 21:49, May 2, 2014 (UTC)

Prodigy’s Assessment


 * Appearance: I will go one record with Sei and say that I am quite impressed with all of the ingenuity that I am seeing in the exam. I am glad that people are doing more than just Shinigami and I am also glad to judge our first Arrancar. As for Quodrak’s actual appearance, I am quite impressed, to say the least. The thing I found most interesting, by far, would have to be the polydactyl features, something I have yet to see on this site. Very well done.


 * Points: 10/10


 * Personality: I very much like his personality, especially his more elusive nature, but why is he like this? You mention many very interesting traits unique to Quodrak but I feel that there is little explanation to how he became this way or how he came to develop these traits. My favorite trait of his would be his speech quirk, the “tsk-tsk”, but why did he attain this quirk or is it something he has had since childhood or, perhaps, life as a human. Altogether, though, I think you did a great job here also.


 * Points: 22/25


 * History: …Amazing… There is not much more I can say. I am sure, by now, that everyone on this site knows that I am indeed a sucker for extremely in depth histories, especially ones that extend before a soul became a soul. If anything was wrong with this history, it would be that his life as a human may have been too short; I would have liked to have seen more.


 * Points: 20/20


 * Powers & Abilities: It was not until I got here that I noticed the similarities to Spiderman; the wall walking, web shooting Quodrak is really tugging at the heart strings here. I also enjoy the irony of someone who is Polydactyl having the ability to shoot webs, although I am unsure why. Most of his other hollow powers a pretty basic, so nothing to report there, but that Resurrección… I really like that you took the time to develop such a unique resurrección that follows a theme that I have yet to see amongst Arrancar. It did strike me as being a little similar to Kidomaru from Naruto, but I am not really going to gripe and complain about that because you did a good job making it your own.


 * Points: 28/30


 * Grammar: It is all good on this front. Nothing to report here.


 * Points: 15/15

Total Points: 95/100   Wolf     ( Howl ) 12:46, May 5, 2014 (UTC)

User:Zf6hellion's Assessment:


 * Appearance: An extremely indepth description of the character here, and its really well done. Kudos. I take slight issue with the descriptions of being disturbing or discomforting as its essentially putting thoughts into someone elses head, when, in reality, you can't account for what people would think about this guy's appearance. More than a few people could find him downright sexy. There's little description going on with his attire, and, while fair enough there's not much to say about the Wandenreich uniform, it doesn't hurt to detail it for those people unfamiliar with it. Also, his gloves are said to be typical with only five fingers though there's no mention of what he does with the extra finger? Is the glove cut open so that it doesn't need to fit in it, is it stuck in to the same slot as the other closest finger?
 * Points: 9/10
 * Personality: Its long and a good read, though, I'll have to echo previous parts in that I don't see how it all connects. Parts of it I can easily assume are connected to his arachnid traits (And, while I'm not sure how ambitious real arachnids are, arachnid-based characters through out fiction are often ambitious schemers) but other parts I can't really attach to his history all too well. I don't see a drive for ambition, or a lust for power that occurs prior to his Hollowfication, in which case, that feels more like what an average Hollow would do instinctually. He isn't specified as being unhinged or strange in his Human years and there's no clear reason for why he just kinda gives off creepy grins absent-mindedly. This is tempered somewhat by having a variety of quirks that help make him come across as unique.
 * Points: 23/25
 * History: Again the section is very well done and I like that his role in life is always "down putting", he was a career criminal, the son of a mob boss, and then a Hollow. The problem with his history is that it doesn't feel right, he gets a mention of a returning lust for power and ambition but an assassin is a woefully low place to be, potential or not, you don't really get very far through that line of work. At least as far as typical gambits for ambition go. And while it could be inferred that he's going to eventually off his old man once the business gets to a good spot (Or simply inherit it when he passes on) there's no defining mention towards such. Other than that though, it works well enough, but I will bring up a tiny snag in his memories returning. I'm not removing a point for it as its mostly a matter of opinion but I'd believe Hollows keep all their memories at first and slowly degrade into madness, at least as a normal Hollow, fair game after the fact given the unique makeup of a Gillian.
 * Points: 18/20
 * Powers & Abilities: Once more, very well done, I really enjoyed the sheer amount of spider-y-ness that's injected into each of his traits and skills, which leave me somewhat confused as to why his High-Speed Regeneration works as it does. The way I see it, the ability reflects the powers or body of the user in some way (Grand Fisher's hair, Ulquiorra's fetish for the colour black). I would've expected webbing to be the default manner or maybe some form of chitinous growth to reflect the body of a spider but instead its just black growths. Other than that confusion I see nothing to take issue with and "Super Cero" gave me a chuckle.
 * Points: 30/30
 * Grammar: As everyone else has stated, grammar looks all fine to me.
 * Points: 15/15

Total Points: 95/100 Zf6hellion (talk) 18:23, May 6, 2014 (UTC)

Kenji Hiroshi
Kenji Hiroshi -- Kenji-Taichō (Talk)  17:36, May 14, 2014 (UTC)
 * Committee Members: User:Somnium Fluxus, User:Silver-Haired Seireitou, User:Ten Tailed Fox, User:Prodigy X, and User:Zf6hellion

Seireitou's Assessment
 * Appearance: Rather standard section here, it gives the reader an understanding of his physical features while also describing his attire. No complaints here.
 * Points: 10/10


 * Personality: One thing I will say is that I like that you actually made connections between the personality and the history sections. That is a significant trait in this exam that I have seen in only a few other applicants and should be present in every character on this exam. Kudos. You also take the time to outline some of his more private and personal characteristics, which is a bonus.
 * Points: 24/25


 * History: Not much to report here. It's a very thorough section that covers a good length of Kenji's history and I personally don't spot any significant inconsistencies worth mentioning.
 * Points: 19/20


 * Powers & Abilities: The Gwyllgi is a very unique touch and it fits very well with the character. Now, the only issues I have with this section is that, while it does provide a good length of explanation, it barely makes any connections to how Kenji came to learn these skills. It'd be nice to see connections from his history made to his abilities, signifying why his art form was so brutal and rigid due to his background. It's still a bit too brief in my opinion and warrants some more explanation, especially in the area of combat you wish Kenji to focus upon as a fourth seat.
 * Points: 26/30


 * Grammar: Nothing to report.
 * Points: 15/15

Total Points: 94/100 --Silver-Haired Seireitou (talk) 21:19, May 14, 2014 (UTC)

User:Zf6hellion's Assessment:
 * Appearance: Definitely serviceable, though, I'll levy my usual complaint in that I don't feel it goes into enough detail. Its a common issue here that most folks, at best detail a characters hair and the most basic traits of their physical body. This applies here too, in that nothing about his actual facial features is really described apart from facial hair. Have you ever seen a nose? Those bad boys have a million different shapes and configurations, describe it. Do the same for the rest of his facial features. Give us some weight to this guy, don't just rely on images pilfered from all over the Internet. From the sheer length of the history section I can see that you put effort into this guy, Hell what he wears is more in-depth.
 * Points: 8/10


 * Personality: Nevermind contrasting the history with it, this personality is positively gargantuan compared to Kenji's enigma of a face. I have no complaints section at all, its detailed, it connects elsewhere and explains why, who, and how he is as a person. I like the touch it went into explaining his isolation, going so far to even ignore his Zanpakutō which for all intents and purposes is him. Kudos.
 * Points: 25/25


 * History: Alright the end of that first paragraph got me to laugh, most kinds of meetings between characters like this tend to have one chasing the other to thank them or whatever, Kenji here? "Dang, she must make bank!". Other than that, its a good piece, it draws one in well enough, comes with a lot of detail and I can't really see any errors to bitch about.
 * Points: 20/20


 * Powers & Abilities: As Sei brings up, its a very well done area and the only real issue is the lack of explicity. Sure, people can imply and assume he's brutal because he was raised in a slum and is a really bitter individual, but its always good to have that put out, y'know? Other than that, I got no issues.
 * Points: 27/30


 * Grammar: A couple of misspellings, nothing to moan about.
 * Points: 15/15

Total Points: 95/100 Zf6hellion (talk) 20:38, May 17, 2014 (UTC)

User:Somnium Fluxus' Assessment: Total Points: 97/100
 * Appearance: Very well done. My only complaint is that a couple of habits are detailed here when they would more appropriately belong in the personality section.
 * ​Points: 9/10
 * Personality: Nicely organized, in-depth, and quite peculiar in a good way. I do believe that the section delves slightly too far into the character's history where it isn't necessary to understand his development, but this is a minor complaint.
 * ​Points: 23/25
 * History: Brilliant; I have few issues with this section.
 * ​Points: 20/20
 * Powers and Abilities: No serious issues to point out here.
 * Points: 30/30
 * Grammar: For the first time, I actually have no serious grammatical issues to report. There are minor typographical errors, but that is always to be expected.
 * Points: 15/15

Somnium Fluxus (talk) 02:27, May 28, 2014 (UTC)