Bleach Fan Fiction Wiki talk:Right to Powerful Characters Qualification Exam

Note: As I am the first to post my character for consideration by the committee, please use my application below as an example for how you should present your character for the committee to review. Since all applications must be responded first and foremost by me, as I will use that chance to tell you which committee members will be the ones reviewing your character (since we may or may not need to replace and/or add back-ups to the committee), and from there, the committee can then begin grading your characters. Despite the exam's rules not starting until Friday, you are allowed to submit your character early if it is ready. Please remember... to sign all of your posts! --Silver-Haired Seireitou (talk) 05:15, March 6, 2014 (UTC)

User:Silver-Haired Seireitou
Iyori Mochizuki --Silver-Haired Seireitou (talk) 05:15, March 6, 2014 (UTC)


 * Committee Members: User:Nisshou, User:Somnium Fluxus, User:Blankslate, User:Zf6hellion, and User:Prodigy X

User:Nisshou's Assessment:
 * Appearance: Pretty straight forward and even though it is brief, it captures the image of the the character and shows his character.
 * Points 8/10


 * Personality: Extremely detailed and allows me to see deeper into the character as a whole and grow to like and respect him. He is a well put together character and has many facets of his persona which I enjoyed reading about.
 * Points 25/25


 * History His History is to the point and fills the reader with some canonical elements as well as showing both where the character's personality traits stem from as well as some of the authors own quirks, blending the two together and creating a character with depth that is very believable. However the length is questionable and I feel it could be expanded more, specifically his time in Shinou as well as his time in the rukongai possibly.
 * Points 25/30


 * Powers & Abilities: For a character of his rank, his Powers and abilities are on the level and are well detailed. This shows the overall skill-set as well as where the character can grow to become stronger. I feel as though the author has given all the proper points which address where his strengths and weaknesses lie.
 * Points 20/20


 * Grammer: As always, the author has a masterful usage of the language and I have discovered no errors in his diction.
 * Points 15/15

Total Points 93/100

--The Thirteenth Doctor (Fantastic-Allons-y-Geronimo) 01:18, March 7, 2014 (UTC)

User:Somnium Fluxus's Assessment: ​Total Points 91/100
 * Appearance: No real problems here—despite its length, it is easily understood while remaining relevant to the subject.
 * Points 9/10
 * Personality: An impressively thorough description of the character's personality that, again, remains true to the topic. I especially like that the writer also took the time to detail the character's hobbies. This is brilliant—no complaints here.
 * ​Points 25/25
 * ​History: A rather standard history (in this case, this is understandable) with a relatively impressive length and depth. It is noticeably straightforward.
 * ​Points 23/30
 * ​Powers & Abilities: This is what I found especially impressive—despite depicting a relatively weak character, the descriptions of his abilities are deceptively thorough. I have no complaints here.
 * ​Points 20/20
 * ​Grammar: Thankfully, there is nothing seriously wrong in this regard, but there is one small problem (a very common error, so I'll only subtract one point from the score)—there is actually a difference in the usage of "who" and "whom," which is that "whom" is considered the objective form of "who." To provide clarity, here are a few examples: The owner of the mansion was Wilson, who was a creative writer whom Jack admired."; "Who are you? By the way, whom did the king execute?"; "A horse, whom Chris let loose, kicked the shack of John, who was especially furious."
 * ​Points 14/15

Somnium Fluxus (talk) 03:12, March 7, 2014 (UTC)

User:Zf6hellion's Assessment: Total Points 92/100
 * Appearance: No real issues with the description itself, it describes the character's appearance well enough though it could perhaps go into more detail about his facial features, the shape of his eyes, length of his nose, the structure of his jaw and all that kind of thing. The image in the infobox also feels a bit flawed, the character in that image has very light blonde hair and not near enough the length in the bangs to hide either eye putting it at odds with the description and the other presented image.
 * Points 8/10
 * Personality: Extremely indepth and very well detailed. It goes about the various traits that make Iyori who he is whilst also explaining their establishment which is a very nice touch. It goes out of its way to integrate who he is amongst the Canon without negatively impacting the characters themselves, Iyori takes influence without forcing some new traits onto his counterparts which is a nice pitfall to see avoided.
 * Points 25/25
 * History: The history is well done, though it feels like it may have been rushed to its conclusion on the last paragraph. The early portions are a slight more detailed on Iyori whilst his time in the Shinō Academy is brushed over quite quickly, there is also little mention of his attainment of his Shikai, the moments where he first connected with his Zanpakutō which would have been nice to read about.
 * Points 24/30
 * Powers & Abilities: Extremely indepth and with little to nothing in the way of bloating, the section paints a very clear picture of Iyori's current skills and abilities as well as his potential for growth, and not just in the areas it makes clear he is actively improving in.
 * Points 20/20
 * Grammar: I didn't find anything to take issue with aside from a missing word here or there or a word on top of another that describes the same thing, very minor things that are easy to disregard, I don't feel it requires removal of a point though, just felt it should be noted.
 * Points 15/15

Zf6hellion (talk) 19:33, March 7, 2014 (UTC)