Thread:Silver-Haired Seireitou/@comment-5651818-20160128182750/@comment-2089817-20160129041212

I know what you're going through. I am in a similar predicament in my Ochem lab, where the TA is rather cute and I'd like to ask her out, but I have my own self-esteem issues that prevent me from ever trying to do anything about it. But the thing is, I'm there to conduct my experiment, record the yield and spectral data, and then leave. As much as I want to make a move, or try to socialize with her in the hopes of maybe getting her to see anything worthwhile in me, I don't think I'm going to get anywhere. There's a lot of reasons for her to not like me, like... a whole lot, so this often leads me to strike myself out from the game before even stepping up to bat. And instead, I just focus on the work, and then when it's time to leave, I just leave.

But look at your situation. What you aren't seeing is, if you truly gave up on any chance of anything happening between you and her, like me and my lab TA, then you wouldn't go as far as to miss school for a day just to avoid any interaction. You'd be like me, numbing yourself to the possibilities by pretending they don't exist. What I think is that you're actually afraid or nervous about the prospect of something actually happening. And you know, that's a GOOD thing. It means that, even deep down in your personal insecurities, you do have some faith in yourself but you're scared where things will go if you tried anything. That's a good sign, believe it or not, and you should try to trust that.

Think about this. You care enough about this person that you went to such great lengths to avoid her because you put her on this pedestal. How many guys can say that? Even if you believe the guys around you to be "better than you" or they "have a better chance with her than you", the clear truth of the matter is, you are attentive and you care about her, even without having developed a connection with her. If anything, that demonstrates that within you lies a deep reservoir of caring that is extremely rare in today's world. If she is even an iota of the perfection you perceive her to be, then without a doubt, she'd notice that strength inside you that others simply lack, and she'll come to develop feelings for you as well.

But you can't cower away. Don't dim your light for the sake of others, there's nothing respectable nor honorable about that. In fact, I daresay you're doing her a disservice by not giving her a chance to see who you are underneath the nervousness.

Just make things casual. Say hello a couple times. Pretend you didn't get something in class and ask her a question. Maybe mention a joke to her once in a while. If you think she isn't brushing you off by then, then I think you have a good chance at just asking her something like... "Wanna hang out sometime?" And from there, you can actually get to the date part, if you so wish.