Thread:Mangetsu20/@comment-4630969-20120820211928/@comment-4326112-20120821135427

My honest opinion? *sighs*

Well for starters, you have a corny and quite frankly a unexplained entry of this particular character. If you're going to write a Fanfic, you have to do a little intro and background to your character. That being said, you have little to no background or history of any of these characters which seem important to YOU but not to the READERS.

Now I spotted a few instances where this guy pretty much acts, talks, and even thinks like a hybrid of Ichigo and Cloud. Once again, I find your character's personality running a risk of being TOO much like particular characters and not his own unique personality. The fact that you gave him a motorcycle, with pop-out blades, and can swing his energy in a focal point direction doesn't help the fact >.<

The fact you brought in arch villains with NON-Japanese names that strike a chord in Ichigo/Cloud/Hybrid doesn't bode well for your characters or the story, let alone the fact that the "Fullbringer" was ANOTHER FFVII character-alike >.<

Now I spotted a PLETHORA of Grammatical errors I won't bother bringing up, but you need a lot more work on how your structure your sentences, paragraphs, and punctuation before you can write in a manner that is both acceptable and pleasing to the eye.

All-in-all, you need a lot of work done before I find something positive to say about this story or the characters involved >.>