User:Zf6hellion/Critiques

A page dedicated to being a critic, because its hard to stick these in message walls without bloating things to Hell. And... I just kind of felt like it.

Lyon Harribel
So I'm lazy and instead of making a gigantic ass written article all about how I hate white-haired people (I don't) so I'll be using bullet points, though I can be persuaded to go back over it and turn it into a full on written bit just because.


 * 1) So first thing that comes to mind, she's pretty much a clone of Harribel so I have to ask, why? Is this something that'll be explained further in? Doesn't look like it, the closest she has to a background is some details thrown around here and there in various sections that shine light on pretty much everything except why she shares a name and face with Tier, even while drawing comparisons between the two. Its a pretty big thing, and its not something you can just say is "unknown" for a sake of mystery, because its insanely jarring and there are no hints to how she is like this. She just is.
 * 2) Continuing on from one, this character appears to be... kind of bland. Most of her traits, visual and character involving seem to come straight from Tier which isn't exactly a good thing and stinks of half baked rip off.
 * 3) Her rank is 4, but all Privaron Espada have three digit numbers in order to emphasize the fact that they are:
 * A) not Espada, all of which are ranked 0-9 (or 1-10 depending) by their power.
 * -and-
 * B) not Numeros which are all numbered by the order in which they became Arrancar. Its not like Privaron 104 is taken or anything so this is just somewhat confusing.


 * 1) And this brings up another snag. As said above the Espada are ranked by their level of power, Lyon has combat skills to keep up with two Espada and a Privaron, while also having physical strength or spiritual power equal to an unleashed Yammy (albeit that particular bit was unclear whether it meant Spiritual Pressure or Physical Strength or even both together). Why is she not an Espada still?
 * 2) There are a few spelling errors and grammatical mistakes here and there, I'm not perfect by any stretch, but it helps to point them out and punch them in the gut.
 * 3) There is a couple of inconsistencies about, particularly with her zanpakutō's name. Is it Zorro or Akane Sero?
 * 4) Lastly, its not finished, I'm not personally a fan of sticking an entire section in just to link it to some place else without at least a summary but that's just personal bias, I would still recommend one of those header sections with a bunch of links to relationship sections and such that you can find on Prodigy's pages, mine, and some others. If not that, then a See Also section linking to each part. But that's just me. I would have talked about the plot and relationship sections themselves but the relationship is just a bunch of names with no information and the plot gives very little to talk about.