My Roommate Was a Hollow

My Roommate Was a Hollow Pause for a moment, if you will, to ponder the vast expanse of what is known to all as the universe. It is a vast, universal expanse, too vast and universal to fathom. Now focus, if you will, on one corner of this universe. On a plane of existence known to most as the Afterlife. It is a vast, universal expanse, although not as vast or expansive as the universe itself. Look closer, if you will. One this plane of existence is a vast, expansive realm that is known as the Soul Society. It is a vast and expansive place, filled with many souls, centered on one vast, expansive point known as the Seireitei. Search this realm, if you will. A vast, expansive distance from the Seireitei, in a rather vast and expansive Rukongai District known as Kabuki, a small trail of dust can be seen. This dust came from two figures who were making a head-long dash through the streets. They were both evidentially Captains of the Gotei 13, with their white haori flapping behind them as they ran. The one in the lead was none other than Seia Tulia Honoria, Captain of the 13th Division. Most unusual was the rooster that perched precariously on her shoulder as she sprinted along. The other individual, who was close on her heels, was Hein Ueda, Captain of the 7th Division. Undoubtedly these two were on some important mission regarding the fate of the Seireitei, for their course was urgent, desperate even. They had long since abandoned their two companions from earlier, as it was obvious that something of far greater importance was underfoot. Hein broke his cadence as he ran in order to remove his steel-lined geta. He then hurled the object as hard as he could towards the back of the woman he pursued. "Hey Obahan, ain't no indecent way ya're gettin' to that door first." he yelled, panting slightly. His was the voice of desperation: whoever was last in reaching their destination would reap grave consequences, forced to pay a heavy price. The objective was to arrive at Striking Cupid Handle, a rather notorious bar in Kabuki. And the price? The loser would have to foot the bill. And Seia had no intention of wasting her stipend on cheap booze. With a dramatic stomp, she drilled her foot into the earth only to raise it in a motion oddly similar to a spring. She'd shot off with a flash step, a rippling boom of sound making it more than clear to her competitor that the game had changed. "Yeah, we'll see!"

Hein used Shunpo a split-second after she did, rocketing forward and catching up the sandal he had thrown a moment before as he continued the chase. He took to the roof tops, adding extra energy to his steps in order to travel farther with each movement. Soon he began to gain on her, making up for the distance he had lost earlier. With a flash he rushed towards her, bringing his foot down in a swift kick, hoping to catch her off-guard and stop her in her tracks. The impact was light, but at their momentum, it was more than enough to throw Seia off balance and off-track. She tripped, and quickly lost ground in the process. Left behind in the dirt as it were. But the chicken, precariously perched on her shoulder as it had been saw the underhanded trickster coming.

It flew in the air, its limited spiritual energy little more than a blip on Hein's radar, which hopefully made it invisible to the blind man as it unleashed a flurry of furious sharp kicks to his face.

Hein had been laughing, pleased that he had made contact with his target, but that laughter was cut off suddenly as the feet of fury pummeled into his face.

"Yeagh... what the hell?" he tried to fend off his feathered foe. "Get off of me, ya dumb ass!"

The distraction was enough of a lapse to allow Seia to catch up. Using what she would normally reserve for combat, her steps became something else entirely. She made massive strides to close the distance between herself and Hein, positively flying through the air in powerful leaps aided by spiritual power. As she poised herself to pass her beleagured opponent, the chicken flew above his head in a fantastic motion and made the death-defying leap back to her shoulder at the perfect instant. And not a moment too soon, as just then Hein's sword had appeared and sliced through the air, missing the nimble bird and chopping into the ground. With blood running down his face he jerked his blade forcefully from the ground and began to chase after them again.

"Come back here so I can finish ya!" he growled, waving his sword above his head angrily. "I'll clobber ya, ya indecent bird." he threatened. He threw himself forward, lunging towards the pair with the tip of the blade pointed at the rooster. The bird clucked an obscenity in retort, fluttering a wing with derision, almost perfectly timed with Seia's next move which carried them further away, out of Hein's reach. He swung at the air, dashed forwards with Shunpo, and swung again, repeating this in an awkward pattern as he continued to follow them. Distracted as he was, he did not notice the old man pulling a cart of dirty laundry across his path until it was too late. His next strike cut the cart in two, and he tripped over a tangle of bras and went skidding into the cobblestone, adding further damage to his already torn and bleeding face. He shot to his feet, pieces of lingerie hanging from his shoulders and sword-arm, and stomped forwards towards Striking Cupid Handle, his Reiatsu nearly visible flames as he fumed with anger.

It was too late. The store was in sight, that coupled with his previous fumbles and Seia's growing momentum left Hein with very little time to catch up. Seia kept moving, her pace picking up with each "step" she made. It was time to slow down, she played out the notion in her head. It was time to slow down. "Aw, dog bollocks", she'd realized, as she often did, that she had gathered far too much momentum up to this point and there was no stopping it. She resigned herself to the inevitable, but the chicken, a newcomer to this Hellish ride wasn't so nearly relaxed. It clucked at her once, nervously, then twice. The third was drawn out, almost a scream as its head turned to see the wall they were barreling into, where it was finally drowned out under the clatter of wood, stone and all manner of glass and bar patrons alike being tossed into chaos.

Hein followed the sound of the horrendous crash and made his way towards the destroyed wall. He stood over the pile of debri and a grin spread across his face. With a casual elegance he sheathed his sword, his Reiatsu becoming suddenly calm, and said:

"Well then Obahan, seems like I've won." he chuckled as he strode in through the front door, which seemed to be the only part of that side of the building left standing.

"Hah! Like Hell, I just made my own door!", she replied haughtily. She'd played off the whole affair, resting against a table that sat on its side like an impromptu chair, she and the chicken looked fine besides some ruffling, though the rest of the bar's customers could hardly say the same.

Hein stopped in his tracks, and there was a moment of silence as he slowly took in the implication of what she had said. He scowled deeply, "That's terrible indecent of ya, shit-bad cheatin', if ya ask me." He took a step forwards. "I'd say we re-negiotiate those terms we went over before... let's finish this, right here." he said as he clenched his fists, rolling his shoulder as he loosened up for a fight. Of course, the threat was somewhat mitigated by the fact that he had a bra convieniently slapped across his chest. And just then the line of underwear that was still trailing from his sandle caught on a piece of rubble, and he tripped, landing on a hapless bar patron. "Out of my way dumbass!" he raised his fist as if preparing to wale into him.

"Yeah, I think you gotta learn to compensate for those tits a' yours first", Seia joked, watching the poor guy fumble around and pick fights with poorer-still bar patrons.

"Eh?" Hein stopped and looked up at her in utter confusion, then he looked back down at the man he had pinned to the floor. "Hey Otchan, what's she talkin' about?"

"You-you're wearing a bra, si-sir." the man stammered.

"S' that so?" Hein picked himself up and tore the article of clothing from his chest, then began to shake off all the other pieces of underwear that were still attached to him.

"'at's a shame, you almost looked fetchin' in that", Seia continued as she got out of her own little mess, removing herself from the floor and any associated rubble that tried to prevent that short ascent. "But, hey, fair's fair, you cheated, I cheated, so I win an' you're payin' for the drinks", she'd rushed through her one-sided conclusion, clearly trying to breeze through any possible confrontation. Hein, on the other hand, let the air out of his lungs slowly. Although the veins on the side of his temple still throbbed, he had suddenly become the very image of "calm," although this was most likely just his way of coping with trauma.

"All right, seein' as how it don't matter anyway." he walked up to the counter and forced a smile as he greeted the bartender. "Hey there Otchan. Terrible rough mess ya've got 'round this place." he forced himself to pull out a handful of kan and drop the money onto the counter with a grimace. It wasn't the expense that bothered him, it was the fact that he was being forced to swallow his pride that made it so painful.

Blind to Hein's suffering, the bartender looked at him with an obvious glower, his eyes barely registering the glint of the coins as they landed atop his bar with that signature hollow ringing that they tended to make.

"I know, right? Awful mess, but it just so happens that we've recently appropriated some funds from a generous benefactor", the bartender was clear in his implications, at least by the tone of his voice.

"Hey Obahan," Hein called out to Seia, "This man here says he wants ya to pay for damages, or such-and-such." She looked back at the two with pleading eyes, almost begging for forgiveness, though it lasted less than a second before she caught herself. Sighing heavily she bemoaned her "victory" now more than ever. "Son of a-", she cut herself off seeing the bartender's scowl growing deeper -- downer? -- and quickly capitulated.

"Fine, I'll have one of my boys come 'round later". The bartender seemed unconvinced, but after sizing the two of them up and concluding that a Captain of the Gotei 13 would stick to their word, and conceded with a shrug.

"So... what can I do for you?" he asked.

"How 'bout the cheapest sake ya've got." Hein answered quickly.

"Woah, woah", Seia interjected, finally making her way up to the bar proper. "None a' that that cheap swill, y'hear, we want the best!", she'd answered with a dramatic wave of her arms to emphasize just what she meant by best. Hein turned towards her, his eyebrows folding into the most pitiful expression he could muster.

"Hey now Obahan... that's terrible indecent of ya," he said rather softly.

The bartender, on the other hand, had leaped into action at her request. He went to the back counter and reached into the cabinet before emerging with a large, dark bottle.

"What about this? It's our most premium brown-rice sake. I'm sure unrefine-- I mean experienced individuals such as yourselves would enjoy the hearty flavor." he said as pleasantly as possible.

"Sounds exceptional Otchan," Hein said, hoping it wouldn't dig into his pockets too deeply.