User talk:Sentonara/Archive I

Question
Can you tell me who the guy is you are using for Ranmaru's pics? Sadow-sama 02:09, March 28, 2011 (UTC)

The dude who i am using a guy from an anime called Sengoku basara

Thanks
Just wondering. Might use him for a character in my other work on a different wiki. But thanks a lot though! Sadow-sama 20:59, March 28, 2011 (UTC)

Hey no probelm

Heya
Hello! Im User WanderingShinobi, here with a few tips and the such.

First, I notice that your characters lack an infobox. I advise putting one in, as Admins liek to delete character articles without them.

Second, I recommend reading the Manual of Style, as again, Admins dont take kindly to things going outside the standard.

Balance is EverythingUser Talk:WanderingShinobi 04:18, April 7, 2011 (UTC)

ok thank you very much i am still figuring out how to do all the stuff but i will figure it out

Answer
At the moment, I'm not seeking to expand stories with anyone else. I want to develop my characters more before I do anything else, thank you for the offer though--Hohenheim of Light 03:49, April 10, 2011 (UTC)

Reply
Well.... I have to look at it to be sure. Just give me some time to do so, k? Senkaku, the Lost Prodigy (My Personal Character 04:26, April 10, 2011 (UTC)

Howdy
Firstly let me welcome you to the wiki. Anyways, I'm too busy with my own stories and the Gravity Force at the minute to start other projects, so I'm afraid I won't be fit to RP with the Mori Clan or its members. But I will give you the review on Yoshitsugu Mori that you asked for :)

Okay, first off the bat, congratulations on using the correct infobox template. Its something few of the new users do, and if they do, its usually the old outdated ones lol. Truth be told pal, I have to agree with what Hohenheim of Light said in his review. Grammars an issue, but then again, its an issue with everyone 'cause nothings perfect. Before posting your articles, perhaps you could get someone you know to beta read it for you and pick out the mistakes.

His appearance and personality are important parts of a character, and your descriptions aren't very long. Try and describe how the uniform fits him, his most seen facial expressions, muscle build. Is he muscular, or lean-built? Is he wiry and fast? Things like that help the reader picture the character in their mind and ultimately improves an article by leaps and bounds. Now, his personality is lacking also. Why does he want chaos to spread to the world? What are the lengths he'd go to to see it done? Does he have any habits that make him more unique, subtle habits like a nervous twitch, or a fear of something, like mice or snakes. Small things like that can make a huge difference between a successful character and those who don't get the time of day.

In his history section, you've mentioned he has gone insane with his noble power and influence. That could be detailed in his personality section to expand on it. While you've made a good stab at the history section, it suffers from the same grammar issues I talked about earlier. Get someone to proof read over it before you post and take your time when your writing it.

Anyways, his zanpakutō is short and rather lacking in terms of detail. Its an important part of any character as the zanpakutō is the manifestation of the users very soul and the partner the Shinigami has through thick and thin, regardless of the situation. Expand on the details. How does it look? What do the abilities do beyond the basic descriptions? What does his Bankai look like? What powers does it grant? Address these issues and the article will improve.

At the minute, pal... the article needs a lot of work. But don't let that discourage you. Keep trying, 'cause everyone needs to start somewhere. I hope I managed to help you out a little with this, so good luck, dude. Kenji-Taichō (Talk)  08:26, April 10, 2011 (UTC)

Requested review
Hello~

First off, welcome to BFF. I remember you haha, I think I offered you some advice awhile back. Maybe.

Anyway, as far as reviewing your pages, The Mori Clan has good potential, but Im no master review person. The only thing I could really say is a bit off, is that some Zanpakuto detail could work. Other than that, good creativity :)

I have to apologize however, as I have no one in my character crew that would be good allies, however if you would like to pit one of yours against one of mine, (for practice or a test run, no permanent effects) Im sure I can find the time.Balance is EverythingUser Talk:WanderingShinobi 19:21, April 10, 2011 (UTC)

RE: Mori Clan
All right, I've checked it, and I think I can give you some details.

For one, potential enemies of the Mori Clan could be the Central 46, or at least a certain branch that is affiliated with them in some way. Allies could be ones that would be most likely to sympathize with the clan. Both of these groups would have to know the true identity of the clan, mind you. --Senkaku, the Lost Prodigy (My Personal Character 23:53, April 10, 2011 (UTC)

Um, yeah I think there might be a mixup here. Although in the future, it might be possible to do an RP, at the current time, I'm trying to get most of my characters fixed up. Thanks though and keep up the good work on your clan. --- Illuminate Void (Talk) 20:57, April 13, 2011 (UTC)

Character Regards and Storylines
I will take a look when I have the time. My computer has seen better days at the moment so I may have to do so through the school computers. But I will certainly have a look and tell you what I think. In regards to the Enemy part of this so-called "Mori Clan", my Kadran race might fit the bill. Though they may seem a bit other-worldly in regards to the Bleach Universe, I assure you they are brilliant RP material and I will strive hard for a good time. Sadow-sama 00:18, April 11, 2011 (UTC)

Improvement
I like how you are building off the tips the community has given you ^^, you have great intent as I can see in your articles and Yoshitsugu is looking good. I fixed the quotation area's of your character, if they don't "tickle your fancy" (yes... I said it :3), you can always revert them back to the original. Happy Editing!--Hohenheim of Light 01:41, April 11, 2011 (UTC)

Nice!
Its good to see your making a good stab at improving your articles based on the feedback you've been given. I was particulary impressed with Gaiten Shirotokisada, considering you've only recently posted him and the details are already of a much higher standard. Anyway, the template you've used on his character page is an old, outdated one that was retired some time ago lol. The one your looking to use now is Template:Bleach Character Infobox (Arrancar). For the actual list of templates go to Special:Templates and pick out the one you need to use. Keep up the good work so far, pal :) Kenji-Taichō (Talk)  18:41, April 14, 2011 (UTC)


 * Yeah, you wouldn't be too far wrong with that, actually. In fact, I find it harder to make a good, memorable quote when compared to the other parts of the character, to be honest. Finding the right words to fit their personality, and with most of my characters, their young age, is a pretty hard process lol. One of the main tips I can give you in making your articles, though, is to check the preview window before saving any changes you make. You'll be fit to read through it as everyone else would see it then, making it easier to pick up on mistakes and the like. You may also want to try spacing out your paragraphs, as Yoshitsugu's appearance and history is now quite long. Splitting the appearance into perhaps two paragraphs would make it more appealing for the one reading it, pal. As for Kiyomasa, he's coming along quite nicely. Like I said in my last message, your using the advice the community has given you, which in my opinion speaks highly of your intentions to improve. You seem to enjoy posting your work and having others comment on it, so I say go for it and punch out some memroable articles. One thing about Kiyomasa, though. The bankai doesn't need its own individual section. Organization of the headings and sub-headings are important to, so keep it within the zanpakutō part. Aside from that, keep up the good work :) Kenji-Taichō (Talk)  19:45, April 14, 2011 (UTC)


 * Its a good attitude to have, thats for sure. Well, its nice to have a few new users who can take comments, improve based on them and keep editing. The majority come on for a week or two and loose interest lol. Sei, as he's better known, has some real good articles on here, though. Its not just character articles, but organizations and powers as well. But thanks, pal. Kenji was my first character and acts as my main character throughout my stories, though his son Kentaro Hiroshi has started to fill that role lately as well. Kenji-Taichō (Talk)  20:09, April 14, 2011 (UTC)


 * Linking from a template is pretty much the same as creating any other link. Say the field on the template is partner. To form the link, all you have to do is type in [ [ Ranmuru Mori ] ] without the spaces and you'll have created your link. Just remember to check your preview before posting, 'cause links in the template can make the template look thrown all over the place if the link isn't done correctly. Hope that helps ya out, dude. Kenji-Taichō (Talk)  20:37, April 14, 2011 (UTC)

hello
I must say you've done an excellent job with him, it's been a while since i've seen good workmanship with a beginnier. I think you've got potential to become great and I truly mean it. :) Grizzaka 03:00, April 15, 2011 (UTC)

YO~
Sure I would liek an Rp, sadly I'm only good at Rping in chats, but maybe yo ucan teach me how to rp in here ( wikia) sorry i sound liek such a noob ^^; 天竜 (Tenryū) 02:36, April 18, 2011 (UTC)

Re: RE: YO~
Ahh i see, and okay i accept the rp, since i barely do anything in this website and have no other way to make my characters stronger. I choose Yoshitsugu.. he seems interesting. Choose one of my characters. Shiro Morimoto, Yajū Ashita, or Kami Yoru ( 天竜 (Tenryū) 03:32, April 18, 2011 (UTC) )

RE: About Surūmyō
Nah, it's fine. I'm actually flattered you made a character that was inspired by one of mine. --Seireitou-shishō (My True Identity 06:08, April 21, 2011 (UTC)
 * Sure, but it'll be by tomorrow. I have to finish an RP with someone and it's late here as it is, but I'll make sure to give them a thorough look tomorrow morning, you have my word. --Seireitou-shishō [[File:Seireitou's signature picture.jpg]] (My True Identity 06:32, April 21, 2011 (UTC)

RE: Hello
I appreciate your offer, but I am not into roleplaying right now. And I still have to complete my characters. SereneDreams 20:35, April 27, 2011 (UTC)

RE:Hey
Sorry, but I'm busy. Perhaps another time?

/* Fullbring */
Um, Fullbring is a power not a race, full bringers are all human. --救済者 (talk to Fenix!) 10:42, May 11, 2011 (UTC)

RE:Hi
Sure why not. I'm surprised you asked me though. I'll check out some of your characters later on; give you my feedback on them. Zicoihno (Talk to Me) 22:29, May 11, 2011 (UTC)

Yo
Hey man, I don't mind, I'm Ash by the way. So you'll find your reviews on the two character's talk pages, ok?The Passing Ash (Let's Chat!) 05:15, May 20, 2011 (UTC)

Hello
Hello I am Td5 nice to meet you.: The Twilight of Your Despair 04:55, May 21, 2011 (UTC)

Not really just saying Hello. Are you good at character reviews though?: The Twilight of Your Despair 05:17, May 21, 2011 (UTC)

To join contact Kenji Or Raze. Also you have my vote to join you will understand when they tell you the requirements. Also if you are up to its Masanori Kawahiru I need a review on and I already know of its grammer/spelling errors which I am fixing. Also to understand his zanpakuto read this article if you please Philosophy.: The Twilight of Your Despair 05:30, May 21, 2011 (UTC)

Gravity Force
Heya doin' pal. Nice to hear from ya again :P I've seen some your new work, and its coming along quite nicely, dude. Keep it up. But I've been doing fine, thanks for asking. My internet was pissing me around, which very nearly drove me up the nearest wall in frustration, but its working fine now and I'm in a good mood once again :) Anyways, back on topic. Since I'm only back from my internet blues, and considering what transpired with the GF and one of its members during my break, I'll need to ask the others what we're gonna do about joining and what not, along with a few other issues. When we get that sorted out, I'll get back to you, though. In the mean time, you could ask Raze, 'cause he was online during my absence and probably knows more about things at the minute than I would, pal. Kenji-Taichō (Talk)  12:18, May 22, 2011 (UTC)


 * Sorry about the delay, I've been trying to deal with many things. As for joining, thee are only two thing that you have to do at this point, one would be to improve your grammar when messaging or other things such as forming better sentences and using correct capitalization. That way its clearer to understand and more aesthitically pleasing to the eyes. And another would be just to do an RP with an active member of the GF. =) Raze Kucabara-Dono  <font color="#2550255" face="Tahoma">Light  20:56, May 22, 2011 (UTC)
 * Hmm well I'm in the process of making two shinigami, You could RP with me and then that way I can help you improve as well as help with the RP. That would take care of two birds with one stone. <font color="#0255255" face="Tahoma">Raze <font color="#0191255" face="Tahoma">Kucabara-Dono  <font color="#2550255" face="Tahoma">Light  21:25, May 22, 2011 (UTC)
 * Sorry for taking so long, I've been trying to fix up some things. But Hmm I'm guessing you make mostly villians? Cause I don't recall seeing you make any shinigami =P Who are some of your weaker villians? Because most of my characters that I'm currently using are beginning Shinigami, well besides Rozeluxe, he has fairly good amount of experience. <font color="#0255255" face="Tahoma">Raze <font color="#0191255" face="Tahoma">Kucabara-Dono  <font color="#2550255" face="Tahoma">Light  20:22, May 24, 2011 (UTC)
 * Well fix up the grammar a bit and sure I can go against Kiyomasa....Btw,,,I love the pic of Motochika Chosokabe that you used. =D <font color="#0255255" face="Tahoma">Raze <font color="#0191255" face="Tahoma">Kucabara-Dono  <font color="#2550255" face="Tahoma">Light  20:41, May 24, 2011 (UTC)
 * I think I will use either Meru, Ruiko, Rozeluxe, or Suri. Its your choice =) Let me know and I'll start it up =) <font color="#0255255" face="Tahoma">Raze <font color="#0191255" face="Tahoma">Kucabara-Dono  <font color="#2550255" face="Tahoma">Light  19:12, May 26, 2011 (UTC)
 * Okie okie...I will start it up in a bit, I have to go make dinner right now =) <font color="#0255255" face="Tahoma">Raze <font color="#0191255" face="Tahoma">Kucabara-Dono  <font color="#2550255" face="Tahoma">Light  01:03, May 27, 2011 (UTC)
 * Arrival of New Competition ...here it is pal =) <font color="#0255255" face="Tahoma">Raze <font color="#0191255" face="Tahoma">Kucabara-Dono  <font color="#2550255" face="Tahoma">Light  20:18, May 27, 2011 (UTC)

Preferences
Well, it might just take a few minutes. If it still doesn't change, just try to do it again. If it still doesn't work, you might need to check with Wikia Staff. --Seireitou-shishō (My True Identity 19:46, May 24, 2011 (UTC)
 * The Jin Oni sounds like a good concept there. Just, a small side-note, the title of the page should just be "Jin Oni". The "The" part is unnecessary and makes the article look messy. --Seireitou-shishō [[File:Seireitou's signature picture.jpg]] (My True Identity 20:07, May 24, 2011 (UTC)

Heya!
Heya sentonara-san... Im a member of the Gravity Force and... (sorry for not replying on ur review favor....^_^ honestly, im not that good....between u and me... Im the worst writer here lol..and other reason being that RL busy-ness) I was hoping we could work together sometime and get along well...hope ur not mad at me... tho.. if u need any other help, Ill be more than happy to help! Call me Yuki or Lone for short...or just whatever it is in ur mind ^_^ have a nice day Lone Black Garuga 01:15, May 28, 2011 (UTC)

Archive
I just figured it out....lol hmm... first... u rename ur Talk page as: User talk:Sentonara/Archive 1

then... u link it to ur newly cleaned talk page...

u could also add a table for it to look like what u've been seeing in the wiki... And ^_^ I myself created a Demon (devil to be precise) his name is Ciel, part of the 72 princes of hell.... And nice job for the Jin Oni!!!! Lone Black Garuga 02:44, May 28, 2011 (UTC)

Uhmm Really? I could put CIel in the 2nd one? Tnx TT ^TT

and u might wanna put ur posts in my new talk page hehehe Lone Black Garuga 03:22, May 28, 2011 (UTC)

ohh ok... uhmm so... Sento-kun.. I'm wondering if we could do a RP...Maybe Ciel and Setsuhiro? Lone Black Garuga 03:41, May 28, 2011 (UTC)

I'll gladly start it off ^_^ Lone Black Garuga 03:53, May 28, 2011 (UTC)

I did it... here's the page Demonic Collision: The 9th vs. The 1st.... Ur up when ur ready Lone Black Garuga 04:08, May 28, 2011 (UTC)

Ur go...and as u did... Im going goofy CIel mode lol Lone Black Garuga 04:17, May 28, 2011 (UTC)

I think so... ^_^ i am pretty active lol ... but no need to rush.. Lone Black Garuga 05:04, May 28, 2011 (UTC)

Character
Not bad but I am not the one to be asking about demons so much I work more with divine immortals like pagan deities or deities in general. If you want a better idea of you to ask than ask the owners of the Gravity Force article Diabolus which are the Gravity Force's demons.: The Twilight of Your Despair 03:25, May 29, 2011 (UTC)

Well they seem like nice articles. But you do know its better to make a "deity" not all powerful or omnipotent. As well faniction deities are better than real ones on sites. I say this from my past of being an admin on other sites. As well this sight has a rule that interms of religion the main view of the site is Shinto. The head admin's rules. Just don't make things that are so far from the bleach universe and believe me I am saving you an earful. Just their can be species on this site that are divine or demonic or immortal and divine etc. They can be based off other culture's views with their names and ideas like from China. But the foundation should be bleach like. That is the best I can explain.

Just I made my immortal divine deities the Kosumosukihaku like none aging spirits that have the powers to purify demons and negate the negative powers of Sekkiseki and reson. As for their history the first of them existed before time and the universe began but didn't influence the natural order. As well gods powers have nothing to do with worship. If that was true than whom worship them when before the universe began.: The Twilight of Your Despair 03:45, May 29, 2011 (UTC)

Well just its a touchy topic. Just I call deitie divine immortals for one reason. Gods should at least full gods be at least none aging hence immortal beings with divine powers. Demi-gods are are often immortal but not always. Just I like gods even weak ones for Demons are a dime a dozen in anime and gods are special to me.: The Twilight of Your Despair 04:01, May 29, 2011 (UTC)

Hey there
Hey. I'd like say hi and get to know you a bit. I just read the RP you're doing with Lone and I must say, you're a good writer. Anywho, nice meeting you. User:Firegod00 (Say your prayers) 03:22, May 31, 2011 (UTC)

This'll make no sense at all, but for the most part, I'm also a lover of villains. All but one of my charecters are "good" even though one of them is quite debatable (currently being used up at the moment). But I don't hate a charecter for being the evil guy. And if you want to do an RP, I'm game. User:Firegod00 (Say your prayers) 03:35, May 31, 2011 (UTC)

Ah, in order of question: Shade being good or evil really depends on what he need him for. One day, he saves your life, the next he'll try to kill someone. Really he's his own arch-enemy, although for the moment, he's a good guy. Unless he somehow regains his God powers, I don't think he'll be evil again. And the RP, how about a training kinda thing? I'm still working out the kinks in Hayashi Kagekyo's power. Although the question then becomes, who'd be mad enough to fight a half-demon who happens to be the Son of God? lol, I kid about him being so strong, but because this is our first RP together, I'd rather you pick the charecter you'll use, then once we get the inital "What did he just do" kinda event out of our way, then we'll know how we both work and life makes more sense. User:Firegod00 (Say your prayers) 03:58, May 31, 2011 (UTC)

Ankoku sounds like a good one to witness for a first time RP. I think I'll use Myst, my strongest charecter. Gotta give an S-class a run for his money after all. User:Firegod00 (Say your prayers) 22:16, May 31, 2011 (UTC)

Well, if that's the case, looks like Hayashi's gonna get a bit of a workout then. (Myst has no clue who Ciel is, so she'd be usless in that respect.) Sorry about the confusion in that regard. But I'm game for either option. User:Firegod00 (Say your prayers) 22:37, May 31, 2011 (UTC)

That works for me. Starting them is always hardest for me anyway. User:Firegod00 (Say your prayers) 22:45, May 31, 2011 (UTC)

Ciel o.O
Sento-sama... uhmm... well... Since u already used Ciel in another RP (without my permission but no worries ^_^) Can I join the RP u made with Fire? Lone Black Garuga 01:27, June 2, 2011 (UTC)

I guess so.... ^_^ and no prob.. Lone Black Garuga 01:55, June 2, 2011 (UTC)

Fire-kun had agreed that i can join ^_^... Pls do tell me when i can post Lone Black Garuga 03:26, June 2, 2011 (UTC)

If she thinks you're good enough then you're in. But just know...by joining you are subjecting yourself to lots of criticism as we will tell if you need to fix it and some of it may not be nice. Other than that...wlcome aboard =) <font color="#0255255" face="Tahoma">Raze <font color="#0191255" face="Tahoma">Kucabara-Dono  <font color="#2550255" face="Tahoma">Light  02:29, June 3, 2011 (UTC)

Haha well Im not too sure how to start it. I wasjust told how to do it and then kept copying the code each time to do it over over and over again. =P<font color="#0255255" face="Tahoma">Raze <font color="#0191255" face="Tahoma">Kucabara-Dono  <font color="#2550255" face="Tahoma">Light  02:41, June 3, 2011 (UTC)