Thread:Silver-Haired Seireitou/@comment-5778280-20141219024432/@comment-2089817-20141219041207

Alright, let's see... Where to start.

The first thing I am going to advise you to do is simply... breathe. Relax. Honestly, maybe it's just me, but it seems to me that you are putting way too much pressure on yourself. This isn't even about trying to surpass a rival anymore, this is like... It's like you see some kind of inferiority within yourself that disgusts you and you are putting so much pressure on you to dispel it from within; the ironic part being that the harder you try it, the worse it gets. Now, I could sit here and tell you encouraging things like "No Epzi, don't think that way! You're awesome!" But the truth is, a feeling of inferiority, in contrast to the belief of many people, is an internal condition. I could praise you, Brave could praise you, hell, even Kubo himself could come onto this site and tell you how amazing a writer he thinks you are, but if you yourself believe to be inferior, then you will continue believing that you are inferior. The ironic part being is that this is a battle that can not be fought by "fighting", but rather, it is something that can only be conquered when you learn to let go. You have goals and aspirations, that is perfect; people only improve when they set their sights on a higher level. But much like wielding a sword, if you derive your self-worth based on the goals you manage to accomplish and fail at along the way, you will become lost in your desires and ultimately lose yourself; the sword analogy referring to the idea that you can't rely on a sword and depend on its strength, but rather, you must first become the master of yourself and use the sword as an extension of YOU rather than identifying with the sword. It sounds like a far too dramatic thought for something as simple as an internet fan fiction site, but the truth is, this is something that can eventually carry into your real life and real world aspirations as well. Right now, you've been evaluating your worth by essentially measuring what you've managed to do on here and what you believe you've failed so far to do, and this is where you went wrong. You've "failed" to live up to your current goal and therefore you see yourself as a failure because of that.

But what you haven't realized yet is that there is no such thing in this world as success or failure. When people succeed, they do not learn anything. They grow arrogant, haughty, self-absorbed; and when they reach a high enough point, when they eventually fail at something, the fall down from that height is all the more painful. Therefore, was it ever worth it to reach such a high peak in the first place? People live... and then they die. So then, would it have been better to have never been born at all? People succeed and then they fail, so would it have been better if they had never succeeded at anything to begin with? And then when people fail, the truth is, they did succeed. They succeeded in learning about their shortcomings, their flaws; the reasons why they failed. The martial arts represent the greatest aspiration that all imperfect beings seek: perfection. Perfection is a path, not a destination, and we walk this thin line between success and failure to tread down it. Success and failure, life and death, yin and yang; two sides of the same coin. I might be one of the best now but eventually I will be toppled and replaced with someone better. This is an inevitability.

Therefore, the first step you must take is to realize that the inferiority that you recognize in yourself does not exist, Epzi. It is a figment of your imagination. Inferiority exists only in those that refuse to continue moving forward. And that's just not you, is it? Face it. Would you have come to this conclusion and came to me if you had not grew as a person and realized how much there is still for you to learn? That alone shows that you are not inferior, Epzi. No, not at all. You may have been frozen on that path at one time, but it should be clear now that you are still moving forward. Once you understand this, you'll see that your feelings of inferiority will shatter and disappear. And then you will find peace of mind.

Regarding Kyoukai's training, I would normally just recommend Seireitou. But there are other Masters in Kawahiru Dojang if you would prefer someone else. So I'll let you choose.