Drinking Time With Kenji & Van: Episode 1: Sanmiittai Revealed!

This article, , is the first episode of an omake segment featuring the characters of Kenji Hiroshi and Van Satonaka, as they discuss a number of topics relating to Bleach (Kenji Hiroshi). It will run alongside another omake segment featuring Shiju Shūdō and Kenji.

Kenji and Van lay sprawled over a circular table in some Hama Town pub. As Kenji stretched to down another tequila shot he ended up knocking over the empty glasses on his side of the table, which smashed against the floor.

"HA!" Van exclaimed. "Down it, down it!"

"Down the *hic* gullet she goes!" Kenji answered.

Several glasses later and Van and Kenji where up on the table arm-in-arm singing songs!

"~Oh, the banker is a wanker in Hama Town, oh the banker is a wanker in Hama Town~! Hit it Van!"

"~Oh, the banker is a wanker, he's sure to fill a tanker! C'mon Ken, you know the words!"

"~Oh the banker is a wanker in Hama Town! Hear ho!~" They sang in unison.

Then they fell down.

About two hours later the two woke up on the floor after the bar staff threw a bucket of ice-cold water over each. Once settled back onto a nearby seat and with a glass of water in each hand, the two settled down to talk.

"... My head...!" Kenji exclaimed.

"... Shhhhhh. Not so loud." Van replied. "What was it you dragged me out here for again? Anna was adamant we have a night in."

"This!"

Kenji produced a pair of twin hooked blades from thin-air and shoved them at Van, who nearly had an eye taken out! They where crude and terribly sharp with red hilt-wrapping. Van recoiled as if they where the most horrific sight he'd ever seen.

"You near took my eye out!" He roared.

"But I didn't. Look! It's my Spirit Weapon!" Kenji declared, still half-drunk.

"Aweso- Eh!? Since when where you a Quincy!?"

"Not important! But how awesome is this? I've even added Kidō so I can pass it off as a Zanpakutō."

"Why would you-"

"Run Free, Sanmiittai!"

A gushing wave of ice-cold water emanated from the trident that suddenly appeared in Kenji's hand, and Van was washed clean off his feet alongside every unfortunate patron occupying a seat at the bar!

"Oops."

"... One of these days, Kenji..."

"Here, look!" Kenji, ignoring Van, exclaimed.

Van didn't know where Kenji pulled the chalk-board from and his head hurt too much for him to care. Kenji was rising a cloud of white as he drew out a series of diagrams and rough pictures -- chibi versions of himself wielding a staff, another of him wielding a hand-and-a-half sword, and a third with that hateful trident.

"These are the three forms of Sanmiittai."

"... I don't care."

"Sure you do!" Kenji continued on as if Van had never spoken. "The staff controls lightning and electricity."

Kenji pointed to what Van thought was an accompanying drawing of Kenji -- with a demonic grin no less -- chasing after someone with bolts of lighting flying from his staff. The person he was chasing looked very much like a chibi version of Kei Yume.

"The sword makes me angry, and the angrier I get the stronger I get." Kenji continued explaining.

Maybe that explained the fool-looking chalk drawing of chibi-Kenji becoming more muscular? Van rubbed his temples in irritation. Someone was about to die very, very soon.

"You know what the trident does."

"Hey, Ken?" Van asked.

"Yea-! Mpph!"

Van crystalized his lips together and heaved a sigh of purest relief. For the first time since he woke up his thumping head was getting some deserved peace.

"... I can't believe I left a night in with Anna for this..."

Kenji, meanwhile, was clawing at his mouth in hilarious futility as the scene faded to black...

End.