Thread:Silver-Haired Seireitou/@comment-3403804-20130728164145/@comment-3403804-20130730141856

I'll be honest about this. I never once made it sound like you were a monster that needed to step down for the goodness of all, the most I said was that you were greatly disliked among the userbase, which was honestly the impression I had got. However, I hadn't gotten this impression from the ones who had left to form their own group, no, I had gotten this impression largely from those who were content with my leadership and how I ran things. Even so, I'm inclined to believe that some of them actively exagerrated their feelings in the matter to me. I actually took the time to read over our long discussion yesterday, to find out if I had honestly done you wrong in this. I don't think I have, that was the impression I had been given, that was what I had been informed was the truth and I don't regret forwarding that to you, at all. I never lied to you, I merely conveyed what I had heard, and I most certainly never did this to purposefully hurt you, as a friend you're much too valuable for me to risk jeopardizing it due to spite. There's always two sides of the same coin, Sei, its possible to be loved and adored, while simultaneously being heavily disliked.

In regards to the whole case where you assumed that I was still angry about the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" Fiasco. I've told you my feelings in this matter before, and I'll say it again here so that you may remind yourself whenever you're uncertain. I have indeed forgiven you for this, I have put the matter to rest within my mind, but even so, I haven't forgotten it. See, when it occured, I was really sad and hurt, and it really shook my faith in the safety of the Community and Wikia in general. I can't just erase something like that from my memory on demand and pretend it never happened, at times, I WILL bring it up, but mostly I do so as an example, and as a way to discuss similar events. That doesn't mean that I'm still angry at you over it, if I was, I would most definately not have befriended you at all, I'm a terrible liar and I'm even worse at pretending that I'm something I'm not. That you could ever think otherwise, is actually quite dissapointing, because it implies that you never fully trusted me.

I believe, that mistakes like the DADT and my own Fiasco, should be fully embraced and always remembered. Merely pushing it under the carpet because you're ashamed of it is cowardly and unproductive, there's so much you can learn from your mistakes and you should keep them fresh in memory to ensure that you never commit them again. Others should also be allowed to talk about them, discuss them and learn from them as well, DADT was a very negative experience for a lot of vulnerable users, let them use what time they need to get over it on their own. Don't attempt to force them to forget it because you don't like the memory. While I would obviously love for everyone to forget my own debacle and put the matter to rest once and for all, I also acknowledge that its a very valuable experience to me, because I've never before really experienced failure and I can still learn so much from my mistakes. The bigger the mistake, the more I have to learn, and that's actually a pretty exciting thought in and of itself, because it means I can constantly improve.

I have to admit that despite my mistakes, and despite how I acknowledge that this is largely my own fault. I am still however hurt by how you and Ten treated this case, I had expected that if something like this ever happened, that the least I would get was a fair trial where everyone would be free to vote for my block. I didn't even get that though, you couldn't be arsed to give me even that much leverage, to pay my services even that degree of respect. Heck, Raze, despite all the hatemongering and all the things he had done was treated better than I was in this case. YOU, after the DADT wasn't even blocked and you were permitted to run for Adminship a few months afterwards. I didn't even know what the heck was going on when I got a message from you and Ten, it was so surreal that it seemed like you had actually conspired against me together with the userbase, that was how sudden it felt like to me. In all of this, not one of you bothered to even send me a message warning me of my predicament, not one of you bothered to try to inform me, and you most definately didn't wait to approach me at all.

Despite our alleged friendship, and despite the fact that these are all things I would've done to you if you ever happened to get in a similar situation, I was still treated like a stranger. You were both all too willing to assume that I was a false friend and a traitor, despite everything we've been through. Ten initially went out of his way to ensure that I was silenced, he blocked me on Chatango and he was opposed to Python's idea of giving me a fair trial, mentioning something about how terrified the userbase was of me, he also never responded to that message I sent him. I would never, ever, have done something like that to either one of you, even if you had fucked up as royally as I did. So until you answered my message, until you gave me reassurance and proved that you were a true friend after all, I was totally on board with Chrono's claims that you were both false friends to me, and that you had decided to abandon me completely once I was no longer one of the "cool" kids. Because, in the way you handled this, you made me doubt our friendship. I wanted to see the chats between you and them, not to see who was against me, or even to attempt to disprove my guilt, but because I really wanted to know if you had fought as ferociously for me as I would've fought for you.