Bleach Abridged: Chapter 5: War Were Declared

Setting: Seireitei Streets

"Begin the rape, my Sternritter." Yhwach declared. "Leave no ass unviolated."

Massive pillars of flames began to overtake the Seireitei, striking indiscriminately in various locations.

The Shinigami began to scramble for cover, while others, the higher-ranks, ran for the center of those pillars.

"So it seems... the enemy has made their move first." Izuru Kira, the Lieutenant of the Third Division, voiced as he was followed by three others.

Elsewhere, the same was happening, with even the Captains mobilizing to meet the enemy head-on rather than wait.

Izuru eventually reached where one of the pillars had made contact. He peered into the pillar, trying to distinguish the figure of a person inside it.

"Es ist zeit für die abrechnung..." came a soft voice from the flames.

"I don't speak Nazi!" Izuru charged for the pillar, but before being able to accomplish anything, flames shot out and struck down the Lieutenant, forging a massive hole in his chest as he dropped to his knees.

"Oh, that's right... You lot speak Japanese here." said Sternritter "H", Bazz-B, emerging from the flames.

In other locations, Sternritter "I", Cang Du, Sternritter "E", Bambi Slutta, Sternritter "K", BJ McGee, and others had also came out from the flames.

"So... it seems we've managed to get the first kill." said the voice of Sternritter "U", NaNaNaNaNaNaNaNaBatman.

Rōjūrō Ōtoribashi, Captain of the Third Division, was standing before the Sternritter. "Izuru..."

NaNaNaNaNaNaNaNaBatman merely grinned, revealing his fresh grill. "Oh, was he your subordinate?"

Rose looked upon the Sternritter with anger. "My heart weeps for him... I shall play the song of my people."

"Eh?" NaNaNaNaNaNaNaNaBatman was confused.

The song, "Paranoid Android" by Radiohead, began to play.

"The hell you doing?" NaNaNaNaNaNaNaNaBatman asked.

"FEEEEEEEELINGS~" Rose sung.

END