Drinking Time With Kenji & Van: Episode 2: Teaching Zanjutsu

This article, , is the second chapter of an omake segment featuring the characters of Kenji Hiroshi and Van Satonaka, as they discuss a number of topics relating to Bleach (Kenji Hiroshi). Maki Zhijun and Ino Hiroshi serve as guests in this particular chapter.

"I wonder if Kenji and Van would be willing to take a special class for my students? Those two could be falling over themselves drunk and still make Zanjutsu look like an art form. Now, where did I put that rota sheet?"

The man who thought this was Maki Zhijun. He was the one who was dually responsible for teaching Kenji proper Zanjutsu form and technique. By courtesy of his relationship with Kenji he also knew a great deal about Van, particularly how he fought. He was in the best position to draw comments on their form.

"Maki? Maki, are you here?"

"Over here, Ino. Can I help you with anything?"

Ino strode into Maki's office with a look of annoyance on her pretty face. That look spelt trouble; Maki just had to hope that it did not involve him or Kenji, otherwise his day was about to take a nosedive.

"Yes! Those two are drunk again."

He breathed a sigh of relieve.

"That hardly comes as a surprise anymore, my dear. As long as they keep themselves to the docks-"

"But they aren't keeping themselves to the docks! They're teaching a class right this minute!"

"Soul King preserve us!" Maki exclaimed. "I'm on my way."

Kenji, moving with more grace than one would expect from a drunken man, had his chalk-board out again. Again, Van wasn't sure where he got it from, and he didn't care either. As Kenji scribbled fool diagrams on his board, Van poured them both a glass of whiskey from the half-full bottle he procured from his inside pocket. It was a miracle that he never spilled a drop.

"I give you Chūishiki!" Kenji declared with a hand flourish. "This is-"

"The most balanced of all forms!" Van, interjecting, quoted with a mocking flourish of his own.

"Oi, oi, oi!" Kenji exclaimed, eye twitching in irritation. "No interruptions, or I'll sock you one."

"I'd love to see you try." Van said, as he lightly slapped his friends cheek.

A ripple of laughter went through the assembled students, though to Kenji and Van it was merely a continuation of the argument that got them kicked out of their usual dock-side pub in the first place. Apparently the pair where going to "settle the score", but when someone clonked Kenji on the back of the skull with a bottle, things quickly went south. Van then did a little knocking of his own. One thing led to another and the pub, somehow, went up in flames.

"... One of these days..." Kenji whispered.

"Haven't you doodles to show off?" Van suggested.

"Oh, yeah! Forgot about that." Kenji turned to the students. "I give you Forms I through III."

An assortment of chibi depictions of Kenji and Van, seemingly going through the forms depicted, had pride of place on the chalk-board. Form I had the words "Most balanced of all forms" -- in very bad hand-writing -- off to the far left-most corner of the board. In the middle was Kenji cutting through Van with what appeared to be a vicious overhand strike, signifying Form II. The words accompanying that particular picture read "Most offensive-minded form". Th bottom right showed Kenji, with a series of go-faster stripes drew on his face, seemingly overwhelming Van with countless sword strikes. The one word accompanying it was "Speed".

Van looked ready to kick something.

"That, my students, are the bare-bones of Forms I through III. If you have any-"

"KENJI! VAN!"

"Oh, shit." Kenji whispered.

"Time to go?" Van asked.

"Yup! Don't forget the booze!"

"Run away!" Van yelled.

Maki, bursting into the room, saw nothing but dust as Kenji and Van made a b-line for the exit.

"You have to come back sometime, Kenji. I'm a patient man."

End.