Falling Upon Thy Sword: A Derek Marshall Origin Story

(X) Pay Your Respects

 * Some stories of heroes include their parents being taken away at a young age, like anywhere from 7 to 10. They would seek to fight against the world and be a beacon of justice for all. I am not one of those people.


 * I'll tell you first how others see me in a series of adjectives: arrogant, confident, angry, powerful, cunning, god-modded, and finally, shallow.


 * I have power. I have great power. The abilities I have far surpass some of my contemporaries. Well, at least those without Sōzōshin blood.


 * Here's how I see myself: wretched, hateful, broken, vicious, sad, and powerless.


 * I had power. I had great power. The abilities I had could have saved my parents from dying. They could have saved Crystal from dying. Instead, I was careless. I lacked resolve.


 * I stand here at my parents' graves, weeping like a child whose world stopped being fair. I curse myself for their deaths. I scream until my voice gives out. I fire great waves of spirit energy at the sky, wishing I could cut the moon in two with the bolts from my bow. I fall on my knees, crying again.


 * They, my parents, were my entire world. I loved them. I loved them so much that I would have died for them. At least that is what I told myself. Now, I am alone. I only speak of what I am doing because I am the only one who exists in my world. I communicate with others, but I do not interact with them. I write and type, but my thoughts are never expressed. I come home, but I am too selfish to let my butler, my guardian, my friend know what is happening.


 * I hate. I do not love.


 * I fight. I do not protect.


 * I cry. I do not let go.


 * I die. I do not live.


 * I'll keep fighting against everything until my body exists no longer. And after that, I want my soul to be obliterated. Not sent to the Soul Society where those damnable Shinigami live. I just want to be gone. Erased. A Blank. And if I have to become a villain to drive someone to give me the death I wish, then so be it.


 * Derek James Marshall 20XX/XX/XX

(X) Pay Your Respects II

 * A year ago, I would have wanted what I wrote previously. What changed? Was it that girl, Lauren Decker? Or was it Suteibu Aokawa and his Venganza? I'll never know.


 * I look back at the things I wrote, the selfishness of my words. Anyone reading from the outside would have thought me to be the most egoistic, masochistic, and by far the most childish person on this earth. The few things I followed were these:
 * I would never forgive myself for the deaths of Crystal and my parents.
 * I would not become intimate with any woman again.
 * I would attain enough power to become a threat to Soul Society, forcing someone or some group to obliterate my soul.


 * My parents, the people who loved me the most, would not have wanted those to come to pass. I can only see that now, having faced the opportunity to die the way I wanted only to wish for life yet again. I thought myself cowardly and weak, but how much weaker would I have been to gain a power beyond that of a Zenkai and use it to kill those not involved in my personal vendetta?


 * I always though releasing arrows at the sky would relieve my anger. I have found sparring to be more effective.


 * I am now purposeless. I can find something better to do with my life. So for now, I'll stay with everyone here at Venganza. It seems like my best bet, I actually like being around them.


 * Derek James Marshall 20XX/XX/XX

Can We Start Again?
Derek leaned back in the leather chair, finished writing his memoir, again. The first time, it was a long-term suicide note. At that point, he didn't really care if people hated him for who he was, what he was going to do. What others thought of him was never his primary concern, though it overshadowed a lot of his life. He saved the file to the heaviest encryption he could think of: a floppy disk. Since the technology was so archaic, practically nobody would be able to get into it. The 2 MB on the disk wasn't much, bu he did encode a high security program onto the disk that was compressed to less than 300 KB. This ensured that the disk wouldn't be read by anyone it shouldn't be read by. Derek also questioned why he mentally went into such detail on his "great" security system.

He got up, tossed the disk into some desk drawer, and headed out of his office into the main hall of his mansion. Lauren, Kyra, and surprisingly Hiyori, were waiting for him. Their next mission was set, and they needed to get moving.

Derek looked back at the desk, remembering the ramblings he wrote onto the floppy disk. He shook his head. "I now have a reason to fight. My friends. They are my reason." He smiled, happy that the darkness of his past no longer haunted him. Jumping to the floor below, he strode over to where the others waited, ready for his next mission.

FIN